Since it's that time of year to look back and assess, here is my attempt to put the last year of my life into perspective.

January 2007

The family cat, Max, died. Started taking Tae Kwon Do classes.

February 2007

I had a disappointing date through Jdate. My first car accident of the year happened this month.

March 2007

A minor fender bender where I hit a parked car. I tested for my yellow belt.

April 2007

I officially became Jewish. My entry into the fine art of wine tasting.

May 2007

One of my cousins got married. My Grandma died. I received my MBA.

June 2007

I tested for my orange belt. Sarah and I threw a wine tasting party.

July 2007

A third car accident. Quit Weight Watchers. I went back to being a red head. My boss gave me a lay-off warning.

August 2007

A very nice visit with an uncle's family on the Cape. I brought home Rasputin. I had a very good date through Sweetongeeks.

September 2007

I got my first job interview rejection. Work continues to bore and piss me off. I hurt my ankle/foot in Tae Kwon Do class.

October 2007

I hurt my shoulder in Tae Kwon Do class. I failed my green belt test and quit Tae Kwon Do. I started physical therapy for my shoulder. Attended Blogtoberfest. Went on a day trip to Portland, ME. I got my lay-off date.

November 2007

Laid off and started a new job. Turned 31. Went to Comics Come Home.

December 2007

Blizzard of '07 7 hour commute home. Car towed during the next blizzard. Came down with pneumonia.

The Good:
Dating 2 guys
Became Jewish
Received my MBA
Got Rasputin
Comics Come Home
New Job

The Bad:
3 car accidents
2 Tae Kwon Do inuries
Laid Off
Family cat died
Grandmother died
Pneumonia


7 Good versus 9 Bad. Overall a pretty crummy year. Hopefully 2008 will be a huge bounce back!

Sign Gravity

If I see a wet paint sign, I find myself strangely drawn to the wet surface. I don't actually touch it but the sign mesmerizes me and I get really close. It's like the sign has some gravitational pull. Today I encountered 3 wet paint walls at work and I had to do some mental voodoo on myself to make sure I didn't ruin my clothes. Okay, I admit that sometimes I do touch wet paint surfaces with a finger. The yellow line at various T stations has a similar pull on me. There is some part of me that combines distrust and don't tell me what to do attitude to the point where I see a sign as a challenge. How many times have I wound up with paint on my finger? Once.

Yes Your Existence Does Take Up Space

I'm fed up with people who are so totally unaware of themselves that they wind up blocking aisles, lunch counters, checkout lines, and hallways. The other week, I was doing my grocery shopping at Shaws when I encountered an older man who refused to move over an inch even though I asked politely. He told me, "I think you can get through." I got through scraping my cart against shelving and audibly muttering, "Asshole." I'm sorry that I take 5 seconds to place my wallet in my purse before I exit the checkout lane but getting a cart bashed into the small of my back or knees by some overzealous asshole behind me won't speed me up. IT WILL HOBBLE ME! For two days in a row I've encountered idiots in front of the soup canisters at my job's cafeteria. I stand politely behind them as they ladle their soup but they don't move when they're done. And when they finally see me, they move to the right where I need to pick up my soup bowl. Maybe they know some nutcases who ladle soup into their hands but that's not how the world works here boys. Move the fuck along.

Let's Talk About Breasts Baby

The other night BBC America had two documentaries focusing on breasts: "My Small Breasts and I" and "My Big Breasts and Me". The small breasted ladies went through so much mental effort and research to either make their chests larger or accept what God gave them. The big breasted ladies were up to K cup! It's a little fascinating that American sizing for bras has crossed the Atlantic. The topic fascinated me because my breasts are just there. The size is fine and I need to focus on other areas where size is an issue.

Since I hit puberty early, 10, I've had breasts for a while. I also joke that since I hit puberty early, I stopped growing early. I was 5'1" in fifth grade and now I'm 5'5" and am pretty small breasted. My family is full of D cup or more ladies so I dodged that genetic bullet. There are also big busted over 5'9" ladies in my family aka "the Amazons". I've seen it all regarding breasts. The back problems, the clothing issues, and the amazing difference reduction surgery creates. So far, I've found only one clothing line that makes suits for women with breasts, Tahari. I haven't looked at my breasts and thought, "God my life would be so much better if these were bigger." I've seen the bigger side of the grass and it ain't greener! When I was younger, I did have fun using my breasts to get attention. I had a go to shirt and bra for that power manipulation. There is a flip side to attracting that kind of attention, especially if you're like me and have "headlight" issues. There is no rhyme or reason and it's annoying. Using band aids doesn't help either. Another fascinating point I learned from the BBC documentaries is that about 80% of breast is fat. Only 20% is actual tissue. That explains why the first place I lose inches when I diet/exercise is in my bust area.

Bad Jew, Good Jew?

Lately, I have been wrestling with the question of religious identity. I'm sure it's because of the holidays and year end contemplations. I have been officially Jewish for the last 8 months. Have I been going to temple regularly? No. Have I even been observing Shabbat? No. Am I still paying temple dues? Yes. So does being a Jew for me just mean that I celebrate new holidays?

The mental tug of war about whether I attend Shabbat service begins on Monday. Mondays, I'm gung ho. I'm going to do it. Yup, definitely. It will be nice to see everyone. By Thursday, I'm considering skipping with the excuse that I'll defintiely go next Friday if I skip this Friday. The same pattern repeats week after week. It's very odd that service has become such an obligation when just a year ago I happily went to dozens of different temples to test out their services. The more I think about it, I think my disconnection to my temple community is feeding my malaise. As the malaise grows, the less inclined I am to go to temple. Also, I became a Jew just as my grandmother began to slip away. I was a bit shy in my temple and decided not to stand for her when we prayed for healing. The logical part of me says that Grandma was going to die no matter what but on my spiritual side I feel guilty that I didn't ask for a healing prayer for her. Every time I stand for the kadish, it hurts. I haven't even made a dent in my Judaism book collection. "As a Driven Leaf" has been sitting unread on my nightstand for weeks. My big plan for taking a Hebrew class was put on hold due to being laid off.

I do enjoy the feeling of being separate and the Other. Complete strangers are informed that I'm Jewish when they wish me a Merry Christmas. It is kind of fun being Jewish around Christmas. We get the days off and less stress. In fact, it isn't such a big adjustment for me since my family always celebrated Christmas early and Christmas Day was for sleeping in and playing with toys. As I was informed in first grade, "You celebrate Christmas wrong." You see? I was already separate and the Other as I grew up. Weird last name, weird family traditions, and different languages spoken in the home. So, the easy part of being Jewish is all set for me. The tough stuff is still a struggle.

That's Entertainment

Since I spent five days sacked out on my sofa due to pneumonia, I got to watch a lot of TV. Here are some of my opinions/reactions:

TLC's Kids by the Dozen marathon: absolute tv crack. The Jeub family was seriously screwed up plus I got a pedo/molester vibe from the father. The Winters were pretty cool but I think the mom is manic depressive. The dad drove me nuts with his lack of spine and focus. I liked the Gonyas because they're local and aren't creepy religious. The Sentmans are creepy religious (not believing in birth control? It's not Santa Claus dipshits) but they have many fine looking boys. Marrying into a large family could be cool. There is something weirdly off with the Cason family. How can an 18 year old kid be so clueless about college? Why didn't the parents talk to her about college before she moved out? I absolutely love the Heppner family with their flat Minnesota accents. Plus, the family seems pretty balanced and loving.

Ghostrider: sucked really badly. Nicholas Cage was painful. Peter Fonda as the devil didn't work at all.

The Good Shepherd: pretty interesting but I got the timeline confused with so many flashbacks.

Superbad: I really liked it even though some of the humor made me cringe. Listening to the commentary track made me hate Jonah Hill. He sounds like a pompous asshole. I have a celebrity crush on Bill Hader.

TLC's Bringing Home Baby: BABIES SO CUT!E!!. I liked seeing the struggles and sleep deprivation. I always thought mothers were magically hardwired on all things baby. Nope! The hands-on dads were awesome too. This show sent my ovaries into a tizzy.

Bender's Big Score: I loved seeing a new Futurama installment. I also loved that they got Al Gore to do voiceover work again. The time travel storyline didn't make a lot of sense to me. I blame Zoidberg. In true Futurama style, sneakily my heart strings were tugged.

Clark and Michael: hilarious online mockumentary. If you liked the type of humor on Arrested Development, you'd like this. Plus, a lot of former cast members cameo! Don't watch on an empty stomach since there's a lot of eating featured.

For Your Consideration: Christopher Guest can do no wrong. Hands down the best skewering of Hollywood I've seen. Very funny and quotable. "You can't throw the baby out with the bathwater because then all you have is a wet, critically injured baby."

White Porcelain Christmas

After 2 days of being housebound to allow my antibiotics to kick pneumonia's ass, I finally got out of my apt Xmas Eve to attend our small family celebration. It was pretty low-key and my mom's dinner was delicious (as always). Then, we opened presents. It's our tradition to open presents on Xmas Eve. I wasn't expecting a lot of gifts since my birthday was last month and I'm Jewish now. One gift hilariously belongs in the gift hall of fame. I was given a flat oblong gift that was fairly heavy. Before we open our presents, we joke about what they feel like or could be. So, I joked that mine felt like a toilet seat.



It was. I couldn't stop laughing when I opened it. Of course, I had to joke "Is this because I'm Jewish?" My family had noticed that I needed a new toilet seat for my apartment. Practical gifts kick ass. So, I spent Christmas Day installing a new toilet seat. I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday! My pneumonia's ass is thoroughly kicked.

Take My Breath Away

Today has been a trying day. I feel a lot better thanks to my medicine and getting lots of rest. So, I had unrealistic expectations for my stamina. I knew I needed to swing by work today because I had a conference call scheduled dealing with year end financial reporting. If I didn't catch the people before Xmas, my reports would be delayed.

I tried leaving for work around 11AM. Tried and failed because my car car was parked on a block of ice. No amount of shoveling or kitty litter helped. After a half hour of trying to move on my own, I was bumper to bumper with a neighbor's car. A neighbor who never answered my knocking on his door. Luckily, there were several utilities guys doing work on my street. I enlisted one for help and he came up with the idea of getting two more to push me off of the ice block. It took two tries but I made it. See? For every asshole you encounter, there are 3 nice people. That's a ratio I can live with.

All the exertion of shoveling and being out in the cold wrecked my lungs, I drove to work hacking away, and then going into work didn't help. The air in our building is horribly dry and I have a sneaking suspicion that I got pneumonia from my cubicle neighbor who has been moistly coughing for a month (in between personal phone calls). The co-worker who scheduled the conference call, wasn't at his desk - so the only reason why I had dragged myself out of bed was moot. That's one asshole, I'm waiting for 3 saints. Pissed, I called the other people who should have been in on the call. They were at their desks and I got the info I needed for year end reporting. I left after two hours. I felt like I was going to pass out from the awful air.

When I got home finally, my body basically told me that I had to stop. I haven't moved off of the couch all day. What is really annoying is the lightheadedness. This is my second time coming down with pneumonia. My first experience was senior year in college. I had crackling lungs for months and the medication I took made my mouth taste like nickels. This time around, I just have breathing pain and the medication is fine. I am also a lot more tired than the first bout. Send me healthy recovery vibes while I use the next four days to take it easy!

An Open Letter to the Asshole Who Taped My Trash Barrel Lid Down

It's trash pick-up day tomorrow and there's over a foot of unshoveled snow in the back where we keep trash barrels. A couple weeks ago I bought myself a nice big new barrel with wheels and a tight lid because some small creatures have been getting into the building's trash. Ever since the new barrel, nothing has touched my trash.

I have pneumonia and my medication makes me sleepy and dizzy simultaneously. So, my one task today rather than resting and drinking water was to wheel my barrel out front for trash day. For five minutes I struggled, gasped, and almost passed out on my concrete stoop trying to get my barrel's lid off. As I was wrestling to get the top off, guess what I spied?

TAPE!

Some asshole had taped the lid down and then it had snowed on top. As I was standing there gasping "WTF's" I noticed trash from my neighbors strewn across the yard. So now, I get the logic of using tape by why on a barrel with a tight lid? It's the other people's trash that has been littering the back yard for months. My neighbors use trash barrels with no lids!

Now, I am going to have to sleep for the rest of the day to recover from this little adventure.

Malade Comme Chien

The cold I had mentioned earlier on this blog has gotten worse - much worse. Night chills, morning sweats, a low-grade fever, and constant pain in my ribcage. The pain gets worse if I sneeze, laugh, bend down, or breathe deeply. Lying down doesn't help either - it feels like someone is kneeling on my chest. Fed up with the pain and shallow breathing, I finally had a doctor's appointment today. It has gotten so bad, I got winded walking from my car to the office door. At work, I am left gasping just walking to the bathroom.
It's not the flu or bronchitis (my first two guesses). It could be pleurisy or pneumonia. I got to go to the hospital for a chest X-ray. I'll get the results tomorrow. I'm being prescribed a heavy duty antibiotic in the Cipro family, alleve for the pain and Mucinex DM for the congestion. I should also be getting a lot of rest and fluids but that isn't in the cards due to my current work situation.
Since I'm a temp and paid hourly, the only way I can make Jan rent (due to the upcoming holidays) is to work as much as possible. If and when I become perm, I would be able to stay home under the covers sipping tea and watching TV. It sucks being poor and sick!

Update: I just got a message from my doctor, I do have pneumonia with fluid around my right lung.

Been Caught Parking

and I got TOWED! For the first time in the six years I've lived here, my car got towed in a snow emergency. Sadly, I didn't know we had a parking ban yesterday and since I had parked a block over, I only found out my car was towed this morning.

There is nothing like that sinking feeling as the spot where you left your car comes into view and its empty. I was able to get my car out of the tow lot for $130. This is the straw that has broken my back about my apartment. On street parking only and utilities not included are just some of the headaches I've dealt with. Oh yeah, I have oil heat. Living here isn't getting any cheaper! So, I am resolved. I'm going to save up enough money to find a new place this spring - hopefully in Waltham. I'm not picky. I just need off street parking, cat friendly and utilities included.

What burns my bacon is the fact that I parked a block over so my own street would be clear for plows. None of my neighbors parked elsewhere so we still have swaths of snow and ice that a plow could have taken care of if it wasn't for a parked car. I got screwed by trying to be conscientious. Bah!

Partying Cold

I've been battling a cold for a week and just chalked it up to too much dry heat and bitter cold. Last night I had the oddest reaction to a cold ever. Sometimes drinking booze while sick actually helps me (I think it's the Irish in me). Or there was that night of jack and cokes in college that left me without a voice for a week.

I got home last night around midnight, after a party where I had a lot of champagne punch, drank a glass of water and went to bed. My apartment wasn't cold. In fact it was probably around 65 degrees. I have a down comforter and a walking furry hot water bottle. I was absolutely freezing. My entire body was trembling so bad I pulled a muscle in my back. Rasputin was so freaked out by my chattering teeth and trembling body, he couldn't sleep next to me. The only way I was able to fall asleep was to crank the heat up to 70 and put on a fleece robe on top of my pajamas.

So, of course I woke up sweating to death. I had always heard that alcohol is the worst thing to drink if it's cold outside because it opens blood vessels so you wind up releasing heat quickly. Let me tell you, it is very scary and happens really fast!

Makeup Tips

Someday, I'll smile in a picture I'm taking of myself I swear! The other night, I was really proud of my makeup job for going out. I had watched a tutorial on youtube for getting the smoky eye effect and found out that you don't need to use just black, gray, and white for your palette.

On the eyes: foundation Mary Kay eye shadow trio (bamboo, hazelnut and vintage gold) plus Mary Kay mascara

On the lips: MK berry kiss lipstick and gold rush gloss.

Seven Hours in a Cab

I left work via taxi at 1:30PM and got home a bit after 8:30PM. My route? One end of Waltham to the other. The entire fare was worth $14. Thank God, my cab charged per mile rather than per hour!

The major problem was getting over 128 on Winter St. The Waltham PD closed down the bridge for an hour so they could plow. I also think I saw a jackknifed truck on the on ramp. There were abandoned cars in the road as well. Some poor souls had to trudge along the road to get gas for their cars. Other assholes decided to drive down the wrong side of the road and merge in the front of the line of cars that still weren't going anywhere because the bridge was closed. There were also awesome people who helped stuck cars.

My cab driver was a complete saint. He moaned yes but he had a sense of humor too! We wound up sharing life stories and discussing the idiocy of the Maginot Line in WWII. Hey, we had hours to chat!

The last half hour of my cab ride was from the 128 bridge home. So it took 6 hours to go 1 mile. Someone royally screwed up in the Waltham DPW. None of the streets are plowed except that one bit of bridge over 128. The morning will be a complete mess unless they get on their game and actually plow and salt. I'm not holding my breath though. I'm so happy that my tax money is being used so well!

Concert Come and Gone

Last night we performed our winter concert and it went really well. The audience was pretty tiny (which I didn't help due to dissuading potential attendees). I wound up being in the first row center which was good yet bad. The good is that I got to show off that I have memorized all the music in front of everyone. The bad is that I had to fake enthusiasm and refrain from rolling my eyes or wincing at wrong notes. The other bad is that being in front feels like you're singing into a vacuum.

Soprano Diva was in top form for rehearsals leading up to the concert. After rehearsing a section or piece she'd holler out, "Did that sound okay?" or declare loudly, "That sounded awful, let's do it again." Sometimes the conductor agreed and other times the response was "We need to move on." Which made me internally cackle. Also, the conductor had to wave to the Diva to back off on her singing volume many times. Her voice is horrible. All nasal and dipthongy - she just slides to her notes. Since it was just during rehearsals, I didn't have to refrain from any eye rolling or put out sighing. The best comeuppance occurred at the pre-concert run-through. After a piece another Soprano turned to Diva and told her that she was singing the alto part in certain sections. There was some kind of discussion and the conductor stopped what she was doing and asked what's up so the entire chorus was informed that Soprano Diva was a shitty singer who can't tell the difference between soprano and alto parts. I enjoy the humiliation of phonies.

Bangs for the Memories

Today I had my hair salon appointment after rescheduling from last month due to being laid off. As you can see, my hair needed help!



I had a partial foil, cut and blow dry scheduled. I walked in thinking that I would get the same old color and same old cut. And I wound up with this and I am SO HAPPY!


Yes I brought my camera along so I could snap a picture in my car.


For the first time since 8th grade, I have bangs. Not the atrocious Katie Holmes hedge, nice soft side swept bangs and I think it looks kick ass!

Humpday Fun

I might be behind the curve but I just discovered this site and am having way too much fun.

Tuesdays are never my best days. They are my mental Mondays. I will limit my ranting and raving to three topics. I hate the program my chorus is singing, managers who don't value employees' time and ice.

Last night was chorus rehearsal. Our concert is next week and some pieces are in pretty shabby shape. I skipped last week's rehearsal because I didn't feel like attending. I have skipped a bunch of rehearsals this season some for legitimate reasons and others for the "Eh, why bother?" feeling I get as rehearsal time approaches. To prove to myself and to the conductor last night, I went without music for most of the rehearsal. I did mess up a couple times but nothing hugely awful. The fact that I was able to go without music where I have missed 50% of the rehearsals made me more disgusted with our program. The music is so mundane and simple (we have 3 pieces from last year and 3 musical pieces). The Soprano Diva was in fine form last night. She complained about sitting next to someone because they were "tone deaf". My reaction: bitch please and takes one to know one. The woman she was complaining about, I have sat next to and she is not tone deaf at all. This poor woman had to endure Diva's corrections all rehearsal long. Also this season I have noticed a level of nastiness from the conductor that is really off-putting. The joy and excitement I used to feel from chorus rehearsals has disappeared. I don't know whether it's me or the chorus itself. But I paid my 07-08 dues so I'll stick it out.

Today, I had a scheduled meeting at 8:30AM with a random manager. I had no idea the agenda of the meeting. I just knew it was at 8:30 in the cafeteria. I was worried about forgetting the meeting so all weekend long I reminded myself and picked out my outfit because somehow I had convinced myself that this is the meeting where I'm informed that I will be permanently hired. I went to bed early last night and got up early this morning. 8:30AM I was in the cafeteria and waited 15 minutes. No one showed up. I went back to my cubicle to call the manager. He hadn't noticed the meeting location and apologized profusely. The meeting has to be rescheduled for next week. So, not only was I peeved about wasting my time. It became obvious it wasn't my "You're going perm" meeting so I was also bitterly disappointed.

Finally, I live on a hill and no sand or salt truck has been by in the past 48 hours. Nothing wakes you up in the morning more than shuffling along a sheet of ice on an incline. During the winter, I can't wait to move out of my apartment. Summers also. Basically, my apartment is only good for two seasons.