The Holidays: This is Why I Drink

A couple weeks ago, I decided to be alcohol-free for the holidays. My main reasons were health and economics. Because quite seriously folks, most of the major holidays over the past several years can be remembered through a haze of wine when I said X amount of inappropriate things. I figured this year I'm 33 and should be able to deal with my family in a healthy sober manner.

I was very, very wrong. One aunt was very interested in why I wasn't drinking at Thanksgiving and I tried to answer her nonchalantly. She gave me her tips on not overdoing it (this is the aunt who can be counted on embarrassing all her children at the holidays). Then, I made a lame stirrup pants joke to a cousin who was so offended she sulked the entire meal - she's 29 people. Somehow, after the meal, I shocked another cousin with the "news" that I had converted to Judaism which became some huge uncomfortable discussion in which I thought my grandfather called another family member a "JAP". Meanwhile, my raging anti-Semitic uncle was looking at me with disgust. You can see how my Thanksgiving was not the mature communal holiday that I had imagined. In my family, drinking brings about two possible outcomes: wildly inappropriate/hilarious talk or license to be an asshole.

Come the Xmas Eve family celebration, I will be drinking!

Time to Cut to the Hair of the Matter

I am taking prenatal vitamins not to get pregnant but to hopefully combat my rapidly thinning hair. It really started to get bad over the summer when I noticed, gee I can see a lot more of my scalp than usual. I thought it was just the contrast of growing out my dark roots against my pale skin. A couple weeks ago, I went to a hair salon for the first time in about a year. The stylist told me that I am getting really thin around my crown and recommended prenatal vitamins or rogaine. After checking with my doctor, I went on prenatal vitamins. She said that nothing should really happen and giving the vitamins a try won't hurt. Eventually, I should get a blood work-up and/or see a dermatologist. On top of the vitamins, I have been trying this stuff. It is offered as a free trial, but in the fine print they will charge you about $90 for the next shipment so make sure you cancel your "membership" ASAP! I like the smell and how it makes my hair feel but no miracles yet. Of course there are a bunch of styling tricks to make my hair look fuller - like parting it on the side. The funny thing is once I was made aware of this problem, I noticed a bunch of women on the T with thinning hair. So I don't feel so alone!

The Scar I Forgot

This morning I got a paper cut on my left index finger. As I was looking at the slice on my finger, I noticed this pale white blotch right next to it. It is a scar from high school that I had completely forgotten about. BTW, I have a bunch of scars on me because I didn't bother to get stitches.

So, this scar on my left index finger happened one morning in high school as I was getting ready to go to school. I was pissed about something or other and I was combing through my closet for an outfit to wear. I grabbed a hangar wrong and somehow the hooked part of a wire hangar embedded its tip in my finger. When I took the hangar out of my finger, a nice chunk of flesh came with it. I was still pissed, so I just slapped a band aid on the hole in my finger and went to school. Don't you just love teenage anger and drama? I'm sure I went through the day feeling like the person I was pissed at caused my injury. Oh to be 16...

Farewell 32

Sunday, I am turning 33. So, I am looking back on 32 and realizing it was a crazy year! I lived in 3 different homes and had 2 jobs. Luckily, I didn't have a single car accident (a nice change from years past). Healthwise, it hasn't been good. I gained weight and was sick a lot. Hopefully, I can just leave that behind and get healthier this year! I also didn't travel or take a vacation when I was 32. A connection to my health problems perhaps? I definitely want to go somewhere for R&R this year. I think a cabin in Virginia has been discussed with my family and I'd like to go camping again too. Overall, there are two things from this past year that I'm proud of:

1)After 5 months of unemployment, I was able to find a job in the worst job market in 20 years. Not only that, I was able to get my dream job at a place that I have trying to get into for years!

2) I am living in Quincy - a move that has been in the works for years.

Rasputin's Girlfriend

When I moved into my apartment, I knew my downstairs neighbors had a cat. I saw her in the window when I first visited the house. I also knew that the apartments have baseboard heating.

Rasputin and I have been in the apartment for over a month and we've settled in fairly well. But one of his odd behaviors had been a mystery to me until last night. Rasputin randomly wanders off in the apartment and starts meowing really loudly during the night. I usually call to him and if that doesn't work, I check his food and/or litter box. Both are usually fine. So, what the hell Ras?

I bumped into my downstairs neighbor last night and I asked him if his cat is going crazy. He told me yes and described the loud meowing to a T. It turns out both cats are meowing to each other through the baseboard heating system! Which makes sense since Rasputin always yowls in front of the baseboard. So, we discussed arranging a meeting between our cats some weekend. We're thinking of using crates at first just in case. Aww... Rasputin has a girlfriend!

Comedy Tonight

Nov. 7 was the 10th Comics Come Home comedy show I have attended. Here are the highs and lows:

Highs
Jimmy Fallon - I am not a huge fan of his usually but I was impressed with his comedy set! Lots of music and impressions. He left the douchey stoner schtick behind thank goodness
Whitney Cummings - OMG a FEMALE comedian! She is the second one at Comics Come home in 10 years. She kicked all kinds of ass too. Lots of relationship and sex jokes but in a new way. Maybe Comics Come Home will be less of a schlong-fest thanks to her success?
Adam Ferrara - you can always depend on him for good laughs. Has never let me down over the years. He has moved away from relationship comedy to situational and his routine is more solid for it.
Patrice Oneal - This guy is AMAZING! He has been the highlight of the show for the past couple of years. I'm totally on board with his idea for Sexual Harrassment Day at work. My face and stomach hurt after his set.

Lows
Denis Leary - his comedy is not aging well. First off, he did a lot of his stuff from No Cure for Cancer which is over a decade old, right? Also 20 minutes of fat jokes was lame and lazy comedy. Maybe his comedy chops aren't recession-proof?
Jeffrey Ross - this guy really need to stick with Comedy Central roasts because that is the only venue where he's funny. Imagine his insult humor but with no one being roasted and that was his set at Comics Come Home. Blech!

MBTA Kindred Spirit

Saturday, I went into Boston to attend a comedy show. It was one of those days where I felt really lethargic and the only reason why I dragged myself out of my apartment was because the ticket was really expensive and people had already backed out of my group to go. BTW, if you back out of a group event, do not pay and/or do not find a person to take the ticket you are a douche of the highest order in my opinion.

So basically, I just threw on some jeans, a random top, and minimal makeup. At Park St, I helped a woman figure out which green line she needed to take. It's so funny how minor nice gestures can help brighten your day and lift your mood. This woman was going to the same show I was going to and she is seriously an awesome person! We didn't stop gabbing until we got to the Arena. We live in the same area, watch the same movies, and both had to drag our butts out to Boston. Also, she won me over forever by complimenting me left and right. Apparently, I look barely 28, have awesome skin and hair. Plus, I appear approachable and nice. Her? She told me her age and I totally didn't believe it, she's smart, funny, and a positive person. I am STILL chuckling over some of our conversation! I got to the comedy show, felt awesome, and had a great time. Linda from Weymouth, you are like human anti-depressant walking amongst us.

Since I moved to Quincy, I have been riding the T to work regularly. Here are my impressions

Pros:
- 9 times out of 10 I have been able to score a seat. The orange line always has available seating. The red line is usually packed leaving Downtown Crossing but a ton of people get out one stop down, South Station
- People really do offer their seat to the elderly/infirm.
- Seating guilt. I'm fine with standing the whole way home. The first time that happened, it killed my back and knees but I have adapted. Sometimes the seated person I am standing in front of, offers me their seat.
- Knock on forests of wood, I have only encountered one major delay/disruption on my commute. It was the red line and there was a dead train somewhere that delayed everything about 20 minutes. Of course, there are the daily signal problems or schedule adjustments but those aren't too huge, just a couple minutes delay.
- I have been able to make every train that I have been running for thanks to conductors actually looking out their windows.
- An awesome variety of reading material. I'm an over the shoulder reader. I've seen people reading books from Nora Roberts to John Steinbeck. Last month I saw someone reading Steve Harvey's book. I got very confused and amused. Also, it was hilarious seeing a bunch of passengers reading the Metro article about T safety while we were stuck at North Quincy due to a dead train ahead of us. Last Friday, I swear I caught a passenger reading porn with a pseudo literary title.
- Awesome views. I love the the sea, the rainbow natural gas tank and Umass Boston. It's probably because it evokes childhood memories. Seriously, I spent about half my childhood in Quincy and at Umass Boston.
- I love the classical flautist at South Station.
- NOT DRIVING! I absolutely hate commuter driving. It stresses me out and builds into road rage issues.

Cons:
- Back in the day, people knew that on the T, you take your backpack off and put it at your feet. Nowadays? No one does that. I can't count the times I've been pummeled by some clueless backpacker or entire cars have to squeeze passengers in the area around the doors because a backpacker won't move down to the middle of the train.
- iPods have just created more clueless meandering passengers. I'm sure it's fun to pretend that your life is a movie and you have your own personal soundtrack but can that movie please avoid the scenes where you bash into me or people scurry past you since you might accidentally shove one of us onto the 3rd rail? A backpacker with an iPod? Pure carnage.
- the Downtown Crossing guitarist who fills the tunnel with his awful B.O.
- the natural gas reek of the New England Medical Center stop (I hope it's natural gas... or do I?)
- Men sitting like they are on a barcalounger while women huddle next to them arms and ankles crossed. Guys, I know you have wider shoulders than us and have balls but can you pull yourself in a little bit?

Almost Stealing A Car

Last week, during one rainy evening, I went to the supermarket to pick up a quick dinner. I just ran into the store without my umbrella and when I came out, the rain was blowing sideways. I started jogging in the direction of my car while I was hitting the keyless entry button constantly. Finally, I got to my car and opened the door to find:

- a different kind of floor mat in my car
- a diaper bag in the passenger seat
- a bottle of Coke in the cupholder

Very confused, I paused and took a step back. Okay, it's a blue Ford Focus. It's in the right row of cars. But what's inside isn't mine and there aren't any bumper stickers. Then, that's when I saw my real, actual car 2 cars over. So, either my keyless entry doohickey can open every model of that Ford Focus or the owners never locked their car doors. I'm hoping for #2!