Fall 2010 TV

I tried a couple new shows like The Event, Hawaii 5-0, and Mike & Molly. The only show I will be watching regularly is Hawaii 5-0. I don't know if it's age or the advent of DVRs but my patience and attention has plummeted for TV shows (and movies). If I'm not hooked within the first 10 - 15 minutes, DELETE!

I didn't watch Hawaii 5-0 back when it was on TV because I wasn't alive but I do remember my grandparents watching re-runs when I was little. What kept my attention of the new reboot show? I am a very simple nerdy girl therefore this guy:

Yup, fellow Buffy nerds that is Spike and he had a fairly pivotal role in the pilot episode. I have to say, I like his dark natural curly hair. For more nerd casting fun, Grace Park (Boomer from BSG) and Daniel Dae Kim (Jin from Lost) are on the show. Also for those of you who fell in love with the cheesy romance of Moonlight (it was before Twilight and True Blood when there was actually a vampire dearth on TV), Alex O'Loughlin is on the show too

I wanted to like The Event because I think Jason Ritter is a very likable actor and they are saying the show is Lost-like. My goodness, it is completely not like Lost! First off, Lost had a riveting pilot episode that made sense. The Event did not because they used flashbacks too much so the storyline had no logical flow. One scene is 7 days ago, the next scene is 3 months ago, the next is yesterday. WTF?

Mike & Molly is exactly what I dreaded - an entire sitcom built around fat jokes and fat stereotypes. I held out hope because I like the actors and writers but within ten minutes I was done.

I have jettisoned some shows I used to like and a couple are on a precipice. I liked Parenthood last season but I haven't enjoyed the new episodes and I had a realization why. All the characters are assholes. Lie to Me is gone too because Cal has eaten the whole show. Adios Supernatural because last season was barely watchable and the season premiere kept up that pattern. Private Practice isn't soapy fun anymore but I might casually watch some episodes online when I'm bored. Life Unexpected shook up the basic plotline so much, the fallout can be pretty interesting. Plus Baze is dreamy.

Shitty Week

I am lucky that I am a high functioning depressive.

This round of unemployment has been extra hard because I thought I was so close to getting a job. I had nothing but great feedback, I liked my job, and the people I worked with then... nothing. I also was sooo close in moving forward with my baby plans. Now, that has hit a dead end as well. Basically, I have learned that when a staffing firm rep utters "Could go perm." it is utter stinking bullshit.

The death of Mr. Parks has been an awful blow and I go for days feeling okay or I break down sobbing at dumb things. I also have a litany of things going through my mind about all the "should haves" or "could haves" I have wracked up. Here's a little secret - when you are on a hospital gurney wracked with pain thinking you are dying, you make a lot of promises to yourself. If you survive, you spend a lot of the initial years accomplishing those goals but eventually you end up an unmotivated schmo like everyone else.

I am also not sleeping and leaving my apartment much since I am broke - until my unemployment claim reopens. When I am up at night, I apply to jobs like crazy and crunch my budget numbers over and over. Have I mentioned one of my credit cards jacked up the APR with no warning to 23.99%? So much for that new credit card legislation...

When the hermit depressed pajama-wearing side of me takes a break, I have been looking into taking courses to become a CPA and am planning on playing in the alumni band at Homecoming. 11 years since I touched a Euphonium and 14 since I marched.

Life just sucks lately

UMass Minuteman Marching Band rehearsal 9/17/10.mp4

The Power and Class indeed.

A Horrible Loss

The man who seemed to never age/Umass' Peter Pan has passed away. I was a proud member of the Umass Minuteman Marching Band from 1995 - 1999. George Parks had limitless energy and heart. He inspired thousands of kids through the Umass band program and his DMA (drum major academy).

He inspired me. At my Umass orientation I watched this video and fell in love with the band. Nevermind that I had never marched. Nevermind that kids across the country came to Umass just to march with this famous man and his band. I knew I needed to be part of it. My freshman year I was assigned to be an alternate. Alternates are band members who fill in holes in the drill when members are out sick or have a conflict with a performance. A tenor sax that only played C was given to me so I'd blend. A perfect story of my cluelessness and George Parks' amazingness is this...

September 1995 I was assigned to fill in for an absent euphonium (baritone horn). At our daily rehearsal, Mr. Parks split up the band. On one field were the brass instruments practicing music and on the other field were the woodwinds practicing drill. I was a tenor sax who marched with brass so I was a bit confused about what to do. I knew I didn't want to stand on the sidelines. So there I was all by my lonesome in an empty half of a football field practicing drill with all the woodwinds on the other half practicing. Mr. Parks was up on his metal tower giving instructions over his bullhorn. Towards the end of the practice he said over his bullhorn, "I know she's all alone over here but she is doing an amazing job. Everyone give her a hand." That meant so much for a girl who had never marched in her entire life! The moral of the story is that I became a permanent euphonium and received a Most Improved award at the end of the season.

Mr. Parks support and love didn't just extend to current band members but to alumni as well. I was 2 years away from my Umass days when I had a stroke. On the day I got home from the hospital, George Parks called me to see how I was doing. I told him that thanks to years of roll-step marching learning to walk again was easy thanks to him. Another story about George the Man...

During the spring, the marching band was a concert band which meant we had regular sit down rehearsals inside. Those spring rehearsals really helped me learn how to play euphonium better. Spring 1997 we had an arrangement for "Take Me out to the Ballgame". Mr. Parks invited a Umass gentleman to read the poem Casey at Bat to intro the music. It was dress rehearsal and this gentleman had a very odd cadence/enunciation. It sounded like Elmer Fudd drunk. We ran through the program several times. Every time, I was dying trying to keep from laughing at Elmer. Then he asked for a little time to practice just himself into the microphone. That is when I completely lost it. Shaking with laughter tears streaming down my eyes and soon enough the entire euphonium section was doubled over. Luckily we were in the back row. George Parks gave us a look on consternation at first but eventually shook his head red faced from suppressed laughter.

George Parks you have been loved and will be missed by thousands.

Farewell Employment

The temp to perm job I started back on August 9, has ended. How did I find out that I wasn't going to be hired permanently? I got a voice-mail tonight at 7:00PM telling me that today is my last day and don't go into work tomorrow. Thankfully, I was able to reach my staffing rep who has no idea why my assignment has been cut short so quickly. I should hear some feedback tomorrow hopefully.

Of course, I am convinced that I somehow screwed up something that made them sour on me. And yet I have heard nothing but positive feedback over the past 5 weeks so another part of me is hoping my non-conversion is due to budget issues. If my co-worker knew, he was a pretty good actor. Before we left today, we listed out what had to be worked on tomorrow for each other.

So, is it still bad out there? I've heard some positive employment news trickle into my employed bubble. Needless to say, this turn of events puts a crimp in my baby plans. But on the up side, more time for therapy! Awesome.

P.S. Due to my awesome personal finance skills I don't have to worry about rent for next month. Go me!

The Boston Globe Article That is Pissing Me Off

According to Miss Tracy Jan, UMass Amherst sucks. She is my age and she went to Stanford. Stanford costs about $38,000 per year now. Guess which one of us graduated with no student loan debt? ME! Maybe UMass Amherst has a bad rep because snobs like Tracy Jan love perpetuating that myth. Guess what? UMass Amherst was an amazing experience for me and I learned a lot. Sure, my dorm didn't have maids or ivy growing up its walls facing the quad. But I sure liked graduating debt free. Of course when I was 18, I was pissed that I had to go my safety school but after orientation I was in love. That is how people should form opinions - actually experiencing something rather than reiterating ignorant shit.
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Wow, it felt good to get that vitriol out of my system! My years at UMass were 1995 to 1999. I wasn't a 4.0 high school student but my grades were pretty decent. I got into Sarah Lawrence as well but I couldn't attend due to the miniscule financial aid package. For the second half of my senior year, I felt like a complete failure/loser as my friends got into BC, Holy Cross, Lehigh, and Middlebury. I received a letter from UMass about being sccepted into some program called TAP.

I went to my freshman orientation with the stoic resolve of Anne Boelyn facing the chopping block. For orientation, we stayed in the Northeatern dorms, had tours, and had various placement tests. I also met people who I have been friends with for years at freshman orientation. It turns out the TAP program was for talented students who were entering UMass with declared majors. Also thanks to orientation, I joined the marching band even though I had never marched in a band ever. Basically, getting all that hands-on UMass experience lead to some of the best decisions I have ever made for my undergraduate years. None of my job or financial woes have had anything to do with the stigma of attending a second tier university. Oh yeah, have I mentioned the number of job interviews I got thanks to being a UMass grad and the amazing faculty who helped me to get into business school?

If Tracy Jan had written this article back in 1995, I would have felt awful and hopeless about my future. I really do think it was tacky/cruel to publish this article on freshman move-in day. UMass Amherst offers amazing opportunities to students who are interested and an amazing network of alums.

I Can Have a Baby!

Pregnancy and having a baby was a big question mark for the past couple of months since I researched artificial insemination and found out that it has an enormous stroke risk due to all the hormones required. Which made me think and research which lead to a second not so great discovery - pregnancy alone is a stroke risk. Basically hormones aren't your friend if you have clotting or stroke risk. Disheartened, I started shelving that aspect of my 5 year plan.

Monday, I had an annual appointment with a new OB GYN. She told me that I can be pregnant but I would have to be on a blood thinner called Lovenox since I have high stroke risk. Also, for fertilization, I could try IUI which requires no hormones. It's basically squirting sperm in my uterus at the correct time. She also approved of my 5 year plan but did mention that sooner would be better than later. Also as a side note, I found out the best birth control with my risk factors is Mirena. It only uses progesterone.

This past week I have been going baby crazy. Luckily Excel exists for crazy planners and list makers. I've mapped out an accelerated timeline and a slow timeline with weight loss and financial assumptions. So, it looks like I could be pregnant sometime between 2012 and 2013 if my assumptions hold. I also picked 3 names for each gender. Right now, I'd like to be surprised by the gender but who knows how I'll feel later? I'd prefer a boy because they are easier (in theory and stereotypically). I'm also not really on board with the whole pink and blue color themes so I'm thinking of going more toward yellows and greens (maybe aqua too).

Last night, I had fun making a baby registry just to see what's out there. I am simply in love with this and I will use it as a basis for picking other textiles. I am a sucker for a fun colorful pattern. As of now my registry is a little over $1100.

I will also have to move to a better place. My apartment is awesome for a single person but for a pregnant lady or baby? I don't think so! I'm researching renting a house with two bedrooms. I'd like to have a yard when I have a kid. I'd like to stay in Quincy for three reasons: 1. I like the city 2. I have a bunch of family in the area and 3. It is considered one of the best places to raise your kids.

Finally, I am a November Sagittarius (but a cusp so a hint of Scorpio), my mom is a Gemini (with a cuspy side of Taurus), dad is a Cancer, and my brother is a Virgo. Do I really want to be heavily pregnant in the sweltering summer months? Probably not so I'd like to try for a May/June baby. October would be doable on the other side of the calendar. I love me some Libras and Geminis. But I can't pick too much when IUI will take but I can always plan/hope for the first try to work!