Supernatural Superserious

Super Boss was on vacation for three days the week before last. In those three days I was in charge of a quarterly process that had been migrated to our HRMS system for the first time. I had just seen this process from a data entry/auditing perspective twice offline using Excel. So, needless to say, I was freaking the fuck out and stressed. I also resolved not to email Super Boss while he's away to encourage his actual being away-ness, Dude has checked his work email from his own honeymoon! Three days of stress and being on the phone with IT for hours later, it was done. Impacting hundreds of employees across the organization.

The department chief this same week encouraged me to apply for the senior analyst position that will be posted - the same position Super Boss had before he became Super Boss! So, for all of you keeping score out there, in the past year I have gotten a job that is a perfect fit, got an amazing boss four months ago, and am being encouraged for a promotion! I also was asked out by a random 59 year old employee. It was flattering yet very awkward. I have a fake ring now in my desk to throw on for future walk-ins.

That process I was in charge of? There were only 3 errors and I got a high five from Super Boss when he got back. This past week was time for both of us to stress out about fiscal year end deadlines. We decided to split the workload by type. This has been kind of awesome knowing that I can actually help and lessen the burden in our department. Super Boss has been in tears a couple of times in my office the last couple of weeks. Maybe that's why we work well together? We both get overwhelmed with different breaking points but find comfort in similar ways. I call it "talking out the crazy".

Also, this past week has seen huge swings in temperature and humidity which means a lot of pain for anyone dealing with injuries/nerve damage. Monday was the worst day for me. It was so exhausting dealing with my left hand/arm going completely numb plus my right foot and leg losing feeling and strength. The arm/hand issue was lingering nerve damage from my 2012 car accident. The foot and leg were sciatica due to a bone spur in my spine from my discectomy in 1997, I believe. Or it could be my sneakers crapping out with a sole worn down so badly I am supinating almost 45 degrees.

My brother got to meet Super Boss Wednesday night. Bro swung by the office before we went to a show. There was a moment between the two guys that was hilarious. It was a perfectly choreographed switch from saying really nice things about me to really on-point teasing. If I had a roast, those two would be openers.

The Dark Place

Ever start a week finding out a computer server melted over the weekend crashing the company's HCM system? Yeah, that was an omen. Plus there was a full moon this week. 

I had a full on break down at work Thursday - body shaking sobbing and Super Boss offering to let me go home for the day. It was a long time coming and there is no fix but I was heard and understood. 

The biggest factor, besides working long hours and not sleeping for two months, is the account billing system I inherited after Fuck Up Analyst left. I am the only person who spends hours a day working on it: fixing years of mistakes over hundreds of accounts, on the phone with pissed off employees with the shame knowing the entire system has been broken for years and Fuck Up Analyst was a complete asshole to employees. I had a huge deadline Thursday. I am also very achievement oriented and "doing my best" means I will achieve perfection while surpassing expectations. There is only 24 hours in the day and I have absolutely no help at work. Super Boss wants to help but he's in the same boat and doesn't have the knowledge I have amassed over the past nine months.

As I was sobbing in my office, after I had declared that I had put my life on hold for this job and I felt like I was being pushed off the glass cliff, Super Boss asked over and over, "How can I help?" He has also been having a horrible week thanks to the server meltdown. So he was next to tears seeing me cry. He observed, "I knew it was bad, but I didn't know it was THIS bad!" As a way to halt my spiraling, he crouched in front of me and pointed out all the things I have achieved then ordered me to leave at 5:00 that night. Yeah, he doubly earned the title of Super Boss. I even told him about that nickname! I'm training him on the account billing system now. That was the only way I could think he could help.

Friday was a lot better - a burden had been lifted and feelings were validated/expressed. As I was training Super Boss, I thanked him. He told me he had been to The Dark Place last year. I sighed, "Man, I had no idea how dark it can get." He wound up working until 10:00 Thursday night which was horrible and I chastised him about it. But he got sucked into trying to fix an account calculation query that has been apparently wrong for over a decade. He was trying to fix another broken system on my plate and as usual, found out it has been completely wrecked. He was trying to help me. If I break Super Boss or send him to The Dark Place, it will be awful

I am working on having a life outside of work now. I am seeing two comedy shows this summer and have four vacation days booked. Oh yeah, getting vacation days approved after a breakdown at work is CAKE! Plus some low level apartment searching can happen.