Sunday, November 19, 2017

Vermont Brewery Weekend


In honor of a friend's 40th birthday, a bunch of us surprised her with a Vermont brewery tour.  It was the first time I've spent time with anyone other than my roommate or family for a weekend.  I was a little nervous!  Exiting New Hampshire on route 89, I started thinking about Rasputin to get it out of the way before I had to socialize.  I kid you not, 103.1 FM started playing "Wildflowers" by Tom Petty - the same song I played before I put Ras to sleep! I started bawling and I took it as a sign as, "It's okay, Mama. Please have fun.  I'm okay."  That helped.

We rented a van to take us from brewery to brewery.  This company was amazing!  Full service, punctual, flexible, and a friendly interactive driver.  We went to Lost Nation first.  The beer was good and the crowd was nice and chatty.  Then we went to Rock Art.  They had my favorite facility and delicious beers.  Next we hit Alchemist Beer.  I tried Heady Topper for the first time - which is their huge hit.  But I actually liked Focal Banger better! Von Trapp Brewing was our next location.  Oh my word, so pretty and the food was great!  They had a couple beers I liked too. I only like a certain kind of hops and tend to gravitate towards stouts. Their Dunkel semi stout was delish.  I also really liked Helles and Vienna.  Our last stop was Prohibition Pig. I loved the location and vibe.  We headed back to the Air BnB afterwards for dinner and board games.  I am pooped people!

Monday, November 13, 2017

The Queen of the Orange Line

November 8 wasn’t a great day anyways with the year anniversary of the downfall of America.  The weather had shifted so every old injury in my body was aching all day.  When I got onto the orange line that evening, I saw an empty seat so I wove my way through the crowd to sit down.  Finally a break in the shittiness of the day for me. The woman sitting to my left muttered, “Well, I guess you need to sit down more than me.” and for absolutely no reason got up in a huff. 

The WTFness of her attitude and the bad day frustrated me so I asked her, “How many stops should I stand to deserve this seat?” She scowled at me. Then I asked, “Do herniated discs and months of physical therapy count while you judge?”  I am sick of people not treating each other as fellow human beings. I sat there wiping tears off my face while Her Highness scowled at every person who bumped or jostled her.  I could not figure out what her deal was but as we pulled away from Mass Ave, I decided to apologize to her because hey she might have been having a bad day as well.  Then she looked me in my eyes and claimed she never said anything to me. Ummm… bitch what? So, fellow commuters enjoy this delusional, judgmental prize who knows better because she is better than all of us.

Saturday, November 04, 2017

The Bow and the Target

I have not been doing so great. The first morning it dropped into the 40’s, I pulled out a long sleeved shirt and spent the next 15 minutes sobbing because the last time I wore that shirt, Rasputin was alive. My heart has been racing at night while I try to fall asleep. My body hurts all the time.

I’m not going to give birth to my own children, it’s too late for me. I poured all that love and attention into my cats. The enormity of what I’ve lost comes in waves. I cry every day. Since I have been in such a state, I have backed out of socializing. I feel like such a downer and can’t guarantee that I have a handle on crying. If I get sympathy, it’s all over - waterworks central.

I also have a handy bunch of avoidance techniques: drinking and computer games. Designing a house and family in The Sims feels calming and enjoyable. With enough wine, I might be able to grab a full night’s sleep. Going for days with these ultimately makes me feel worse! It’s like they dam up the flood of sadness for a limited time.

Stella has become a very needy affectionate kitty. Of course there’s still the biting and apologetic licks (she’s still a tortoiseshell). She hates being picked up and held but lately she tolerates it for me, it seems. Rasputin was a huge snuggler - he’d climb up my body and just lie under my chin. I miss that so much, I’m considering getting a 14 lb bag and covering it with fur material so I can at least get the tactile comfort.