After two fairly positive and productive weeks, I hit an emotional wall yesterday. I had my first job interview yesterday morning. My old analyst team sent me good luck texts, my Lyft driver gave me tons of encouragement, and the interview went well. I got home and had a phone screen with another company. Then, I could not stop crying. To get myself amped up to be on for interviews, I need to invest in the potential job, potential new routine, and potential new co-workers. I also have to hold the investment in a bubble to either tap into again or have burst. It is exhausting. I can't let myself want a new job too much for protection.
I miss my old team - the daily laughs and support. I miss the routine of going to work and contributing. I'm also worried that I fit in so well at my old job, I won't have that again at another place. I don't miss my old company - the politics and BS was taxing. Unemployment is draining and this might be my last job before hitting the senior citizen zone. Hitting the sads finally now.
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