Bored At Work: The Worst Possible Resume Ever

Joseph J. Shabadoo
14G Main St.
Springfield, MN 56510
Home Phone (555) 382-5633
Email jjshlong@gmail.com



OBJECTIVE: to secure a full time, high paying position in a company that doesn't regulate
internet usage of it's employees

EDUCATION
2001-2002 Springfield High

EMPLOYMENT
2007 Cook, Wendy’s
• Grease scraping
• Food “seasoning”
• Beef massage
• Taste tester

2005-2007 Farm hand, Sneed’s Farm
• Manure management
• Slopping hogs
• Stun gunning stock
• Spider eradication
• Mane stylist

SKILLS
• Vacation policy abuse
• Office gossip
• Looking busy
• Losing files
• Downloading viruses

INTERESTS
• Complaining about work
• Surfing the web
• Drinking
• Bong maintenance
• Hangover management
• Explosives


*a collaboration with Sarah