Sunday 4/26 - I had to work because I had a deadline to calculate and enter billing for 60 employees in almost 300 plans over 5 years. It wasn't too bad. I sucked down Dunks while blasting music getting into the data entry zone. I did get a bit freaked out when the thumping I heard turned out to be someone else in the next department working as well. The Winter Soldier soundtrack made me feel very heroic while I calculated deductions. 5 hours worked and a comp day earned.
Monday 4/27 - a pistachio kind of day. On top of all the broken processes and work that hasn't been done, that I have been able to make my peace with, a whole other reporting reconciliation that was neglected for 3 months was discovered. Yes. Another one. It was seriously not a huge or complicated task but segue to me freaking the fuck out in Super Boss' office. There were tears and he assured me this new report is very low on my priority list. We met afterwards for two hours reviewing an employee account that made no sense. A lot of clutching our heads and asking, "What the hell happened?" and adding up any little amount to try to explain variances. 10 hour day.
Tuesday 4/28 - I was a bit embarrassed about my emotional Monday so I avoided Super Boss in addition to being a huge asshole to everyone. Part of me kept asking internally "What are you doing?" as the pettiest passive aggressive bullshit spewed from my mouth. I got a lot done since I knew I should not be around people. Super Boss had a question for me in his office. I came over to his side and saw on the computer screen a mistake I had made Sunday. So, you can probably guess how that went over. I felt upset that I made a mistake so I told him that he was right. I probably fucked everything up from Sunday. He got very stern/disappointed saying that he wished I did not use that kind of language about myself. I tried to be nonchalant since I could feel I was getting upset and backed out of his office saying that I'll fix it. He asked me what was wrong and this is what I said, "Oh we don't need to do this. You've had to deal with enough of me the past two days." That kicked off this back and forth where I complained about being an emotional mess (aka an unprofessional woman). He started pacing telling me how much I have accomplished that he knows and has seen what I am capable of. He just doesn't know how to make me see it. Needless to say, we hugged it out and had a sane/calm discussion about other work matters. I have to say, that was one of the kindest most supportive ways to bolster me up while dealing with my crazy self doubts. I get a little verklempt remembering it. 10 hour workday.
Wednesday 4/29 - I made sure early in the morning to thank Super Boss letting him know how much his patience and support helps. He said this really cool thing that all the strategies/habits I have picked up through other jobs and also as a way to help myself after my stroke basically has made me the perfect fit for my job. So yeah, stars really aligned landing me this gig! This was the kind of day where a meeting cancellation is as welcome as a shot of lidocaine. I had to delay almost every deliverable due to a huge reporting project, an initial analysis of messed up employee account. Super Boss and I have this thing where we scold each other "Go home!" every time we see each other working late. 10 hour workday.
Thursday 4/30 - a big accounting/finance and filing day. Around lunchtime this is how well Super Boss knows me - Email subject: Come to My Office. The first line in the email body: You're not in trouble. Well, the only other analyst besides me in our group gave notice. If work was a movie, it would be a dark comedy. I will be the only analyst in our group starting in mid-May. The end of the day into evening was three hours trying to craft a report for that nonsensical employee account. And holy shit Super Boss is human! He got so frustrated he whacked his keyboard, swore, and yelled at the data on the computer screen. It seriously did not make sense and is five years old so it's all guesswork on what people were thinking. So, ha! I got to be the calming sane one with suggestions on how to approach the problem and verbalizing needs. We wound up being so worn out we had to leave the report at good enough after running the gamut of pivoting the data, calculating, and formatting. 12 hour workday
Friday 5/1 - I could not sleep because my mind was still trying to perfect that damn report. I got three hours of sleep. A bunch of projects were completed today and Big Decisions were handed down on policy. One of the Big Decisions was so poorly verbalized Super Boss and I were staring at each other in a meeting with "Are you fucking kidding me" faces. I had to talk to an employee about his screwed up account which went poorly and was frustrating for me to have to explain how broken the system is. I also met Super Boss' wife! 10 hour workday.
Side note. Our offices face a hotel and sometimes people walk around naked in their hotel room with the blinds open. Super Boss thinks it's funny and my first reaction is "Ew, no" I think that is part embarrassment on the person's behalf and the other part knowing that I don't want to see naked people while I'm in business casual. You know? I want nudity in my home. Not surrounded by Xerox machines and filing cabinets.
For those of you fearing for my health and sanity, I am taking May 8 off. This weekend is all about Avengers Age of Ultron.