Friday, May 03, 2019

Everything is Awful


I haven't been sleeping, eating meals, and I cry every day. The pain isn't constant but I don't have the energy to fight it off. The first of May was the absolute worst day since my dad died. Being a new month without him felt like a body blow. If I'm not sad, I am hounded with why's. Why did we go ahead with a partial hip replacement surgery on an 86 year old diabetic with congestive heart failure and no muscle mass? Why did we admit him to that horrible rehab that never turned him or helped him eat? They also left his nurse call button out of reach constantly. I know his health was in decline and he would have passed away even without the broken hip. But it still hurts.  My mom has decided to hold the memorial in July. Maybe I'll feel better after that? 

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