It was the summer of 1997 and I was 20 years old. September through May, I had time to build up my alcohol tolerance but I didn't realize how a summer of not drinking could dramatically decrease that tolerance. Every summer though high school and college, I worked in a community theater as a cast member and eventually staff member. In August of that summer, one of the cast members parents were out of town for a weekend, ergo party.
There was this stuff called Aftershock that I had never tried before and since it was new, shots were required. There was beer, vodka, and shots of whiskey. I somehow wound up locking myself in the bathroom because the doorknob fell off inside and I was too drunk to figure out how to get it back on. It took one of the guys shouting instructions through a key hole to get me out. By that time, I was pretty much done with the party. Hey, I lived only a couple blocks away so walking home would be fine. I didn't so much walk, I basically stumbled moaning to myself home. The piece de resistance was that I pissed my pants and bumped into a theater friend on the way home. He asked me if I was all right and I, famously, responded, "2 steps, 2 blocks I home."
I got to my parents front door and couldn't work the key but my Mom was up so she opened the door. She stood in the doorway and informed me that I smelt like a "brewery." I waved the comment off and headed upstairs to my bedroom. Once out of my urine-soaked clothes, I flopped on my bed. Then I puked on myself and my bed. I got up and went to the bathroom, puked some more, and got out of my pukey clothes. Naked, I wandered into my brother's room. He was sleeping in bed but I tried talking to him and leaning on his desk. The leaning didn't work so I fell and somehow I wound up under his desk, naked tangled up in his computer wires.
--------------------------------------------- This is where my black-out begins
My brother woke up and my mother got me dressed. She asked me what did I take (she assumed drugs since I was so messed up). I kept moaning about Aftershock. I was moved down to the living room where I was fed water and aspirin. I was moaning, puking, and spitting. My mother and brother had trouble not laughing at the sheer ridiculousness.
--------------------------------------------- The black-out ends
I woke up the next morning in completely different clothes, lying on some blankets in the living room. The first thing I saw was my father's feet. Very quickly I went from, "Oh God what happened... Crap! I am so busted!" I got a stern talking to from my parents. My punishment was cleaning up my puke ruined bed. I had theater rehearsal that night and I was told to come straight home from practice. I was still so hungover, my memory was fuzzy so when I got to the theater the "2 steps 2 blocks I home" quote had made its rounds and it was news to me. That was the first and last time I ever puked from alcohol and had a black-out.
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