Launder My Karma

For last night's Tae Kwon Do class, we reviewed self defense moves and did power kicking. I've been going to class for nine months and have basically viewed the entire shebang as a health/exercise past-time. Last night, one of the instructors forced me to reconsider my approach. He talked about how we need to rewire our brains into thinking of our bodies as weapons. With that mentality, we'd have a lot more power in our kicks and punches.

When I do kick or punch drills, I focus on technique and am basically emotionally detached from what my body is doing. Maybe that's why I keep getting feedback from instructors about, "More power, Anna."

If I want to rewire my body into being a weapon, to give myself more power, I'll have to tap into the whole fight/flight adrenaline response. Since I have a pretty damn good memory, that is very easy for me. But it's going to be very tough emotionally.

I've been so stupid about the whole Tae Kwon Do thing. Yes of course there's a fitness component and there's also a defense part which implies that I might be in a vulnerable position someday. I have spent my adult life convinced that I will never allow anyone to hit me. Tae Kwon Do is opening up the "If they do, I can..." aspect. That completely petrifies me. I didn't fight back when I was kid. I froze.