Friday, December 28, 2007

Yes Your Existence Does Take Up Space

I'm fed up with people who are so totally unaware of themselves that they wind up blocking aisles, lunch counters, checkout lines, and hallways. The other week, I was doing my grocery shopping at Shaws when I encountered an older man who refused to move over an inch even though I asked politely. He told me, "I think you can get through." I got through scraping my cart against shelving and audibly muttering, "Asshole." I'm sorry that I take 5 seconds to place my wallet in my purse before I exit the checkout lane but getting a cart bashed into the small of my back or knees by some overzealous asshole behind me won't speed me up. IT WILL HOBBLE ME! For two days in a row I've encountered idiots in front of the soup canisters at my job's cafeteria. I stand politely behind them as they ladle their soup but they don't move when they're done. And when they finally see me, they move to the right where I need to pick up my soup bowl. Maybe they know some nutcases who ladle soup into their hands but that's not how the world works here boys. Move the fuck along.

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