I can finally rest a bit now. No more nagging voice in my head to do more, achieve more, and do everything perfectly. That voice pushed me through endless rounds of auditions in musical or dramatic groups. That voice hounded me for every grade that I got below A. The awful part of it is when I won the role/solo or got the A, it was all emptiness. No enjoyment. It was like a part of me thought, "So you accomplished X. It probably wasn't such a huge challenge so now what?" Even when I received my MBA, I wasn't happy because my GPA wasn't perfect so I didn't get to wear a special tassel.
Today, my father told me to my face that he's proud of me and thinks that I will accomplish great things. This is the first time ever he has told me that. I couldn't stop crying and shaking when he told me. It meant a lot to me, especially now that I have been laid off for the second time in 3 months and I feel like such a failure at life. Intellectually, I knew my father was proud of me because other family members told me or his work colleagues mentioned it.
It will be nice now to accomplish goals for myself. I hope it will be enjoyable.
1 comment:
...but real goals. Not like getting a Masters of Business Administration or anything REEEEAL goals. Get to workin on that cuz we're going to MAINE for a week this summer. I don't go on holiday with people with crappy goals. You know this!
Post a Comment