Thank goodness for perspective, working out endorphins, and marinating my brain in serotonin.
First off, today was not that bad. I was initially upset but after my bathroom cry, I started to think about the feedback about asking questions is not taking ownership of projects. That is kinda right in this situation. It's like I am a spoiled kid who knows that I don't have to do X if I ask Mommy or Daddy enough questions. Hell, I was hired to lessen the workload for my bosses and most of the time I wind up roping them into some aspect of my reporting duties. I think it's because I don't feel confident and have my brain on standby so I'm not learning. All of these thoughts occurred in the bathroom stall. Bathrooms are amazing, no?
When I got back to my desk, I started to figure out what I can own project-wise and I tried to avoid contacting my boss for mundane questions. Seriously folks, if I look at my sent folder I email my boss at least 3 times an hour. RIDICULOUS! The perfect opportunity for ownership came up when I was contacted by AP informing me that a check request I had sent missed the weekly check run so it would take another week to cut. That check is due Monday so while I was internally freaking out, I asked the AP lady what I could do to expedite the check. My first impulse after I hung up was to email my boss. Did I? No. I went ahead and got the check expedited on my own. Boo-yeah!
I know it's kinda late in the game to figure out how to balance work and asking for help since this assignment will be over within 2 months, but I like the challenge. I can think up lists of things for myself to own. Hell, I can use what I learned here for my next assignment!