Monday, October 19, 2009

Ikea Shopping: Maze of Anxiety and Horror

I love Ikea products but the physical shopping for them leaves me exhausted and frazzled. It always starts the same way: get inside, collect your handy map and pencil. Wander through thoughfully designed pseudo rooms, ooh and aah until you spy the price tag. And then it usually hits me after kitchenware or in the kids area. This building anxiety of being stuck behind meandering people with no windows or exit in sight. By the time I get to light fixtures, I want to run screaming through the store, "Get me out! Get me out!" At check out, you can smell fresh air so you don't even pay attention to the whole process. I could be charged $5,000 for a placemat and I wouldn't notice because I NEED TO GET OUT! This is why I will never be able to buy any plants or paintings in the Ikea store because that is the last department before exiting.

The only other time I have felt so trapped and herded was at the Holocaust museum in Washington, DC. I know the museum was designed that way on purpose, but Ikea? I don't think so. Thank God for internet shopping. If only there could be skylights or some kind of emergency exit for people freaking the hell out.

1 comment:

Cheryl Jacobs said...

You so just described my whole ikea experience to a tee. Thank you so much for the big relief laugh that I'm having, because I thought I was the only one. i'd rather be caught in a corn maze than ikea!