Manservant Toby

As a single gal who lives alone, life or medical situations sometimes get in the way of getting shit done. I haven't bought kitty litter for weeks because lifting the bag up to my apartment will wreck my neck. The last time I got kitty litter, I was out of work for a day laid up on muscle relaxants and Vicodin. Luckily, my cats have been holding out fine. I didn't mail in bill payments on time because I had no stamps and no time to pick up some booklets. Who picks me up and drops me off when I get my eyes dilated at optometrist appointments? My parents.

This is why I need a manservant. I picked Toby as a pleasant sounding name. He'd help me get shit done and keep me organized. Car needing work? He'd drop me off at work and then drive it over to the shop. Injured spine? He'd do the heavy lifting and reaching . He would also take the cats to their appointments. Also, he would have some magical ability to eliminate tufts of cat fur collecting everywhere in my apartment. Mail would be opened and organized rather than thrown in a teetering pile on my coffee table. He would pick up prescriptions when I'm sick or injured.

It will be like having a husband without the marriage, love and sex. A cut and dry business arrangement.

Norovirus Not Kidding Around

I thought I had some bad food last Wednesday. It was just mild tummy issues that seemed to get better with rest so I went back to work Thursday. Horrible bad idea. I developed stabbing pain on my right side and just swallowing my own saliva made me feel like I would vomit. Friday was another sick day that I spent in bed. I had to haul myself out of bed to pick up gatorade and saltines etc. around 1:00 PM. I was very woozy and lightheaded. I shuffled through Stop & Shop like a nauseous zombie. I had to go straight back to bed when I got home. Thank goodness for Netflix streaming and cats acting like heating pads!

Of course when you're stricken with such an illness, you start wondering about where you could have gotten infected. At first, I blamed my parents since they had been sick a couple weeks before. But I bumped into my neighbor Saturday and it turns out he had been sick for about a week. Plus, when I came into work this morning, it turns out one of my co-workers got so ill she had to be hospitalized. So, it's making the rounds and no one is really immune. If this was a zombie virus, I think the whole south shore would be moaning brain eaters!