Being a Jew By Choice

Growing up, since my father survived WWII in Europe, I heard stories about Nazis, bombings, starvation, and the black market. My father's family is Christian but had many Jewish friends in Budapest. They hid whoever they could and forged papers for others to get out of Hungary. None of these family friends survived the war.

I read The Diary of Anne Frank in third grade. I felt like I had found a kindred spirit in Anne. My heart broke when hers broke and I celebrated the small happiness she was able to find. Halfway through the book, I mentioned to my mother that I would love to meet Anne Frank in person. She told me Anne died in a concentration camp. I felt like I had lost a sister.

I grew up in a well heeled suburb of Boston with a mix of Jewish and Christian families. The churches outnumbered the synagogues but there were two synagogues at least. We had school holidays on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.  My family was not religious so I did not see any difference between my friends' religions. CCD and Hebrew school - what's the difference? My family was not well heeled, we had a foreign last name, and we brought weird foreign food to school for lunch.  There was an assumption that we were Jewish. Since we weren't, our oddities were fair game for mocking.

After my stroke and once I had recovered enough, I decided to continue my search for a religion to join. I was sitting in my car after work one evening when a question came into my mind that asked, "Why haven't you considered Judaism?" I got goose bumps. At home I googled what was involved in converting and just exactly what Judaism stands for. I contacted several rabbi for sponsoring. Only one set up an appointment. I attended my first shabbat service that Friday. It was amazing. I loved the music, the sermon, and the sound of Hebrew. To my ears, Hebrew sounds like millennia, rock, sand, and my bones. Everyone was so welcoming and kind as well! Thus began my yearlong process of studying to convert. 

I had to tell my family. My parents were fine. My mom pointed out that she looked into converting to Judaism around my age. My super Catholic grandparents were thrilled. I chose my Hebrew name, Miriam, because she's the sister of Moses. Moses was supposed to have a speech impediment. My brother had a stutter when he was little.  I went to the mikveh April 2007. My grandmother was hospitalized suffering from complications with her CHF and breast cancer. She passed a message along that she wished she could be with me. As a converted Jew, my full name is Miriam bat Avram v'Sarah. Also, according to DNA I have Ashkenazi ancestors - haplogroup K!

Then my grandmother passed away in May 2007. It was my first deathbed watch. It also was the first time I've seen certain family members cry. I felt extremely close to my grandmother. She was a lot like me and never let me doubt her love. The first shabbat service after her death standing for yahrzeit and saying the kaddish for her overwhelmed me.

Now I have been Jewish for over a decade. I'm no longer a weekly temple goer. My family gives me hanukkah gifts on Christmas. I observe the high holidays and have hosted Passover. I make a mean brisket. I've also had people tell me to my face that Jews are lying thieves. One of my cousins decided to use "Jewing down" as a euphemism for bargaining down in front of me. Since she's 18 years younger than me, I had a talk with her about that.

There has been two years of rising anti-semitic harassment and acts of hate in the United States. Now, Jewish people have been murdered. I'm not going to feel great saying "I told you so". on this. The entire world is getting more conservative and xenophobic, it's not just us. The thing is, this has happened before and it has not gone well for any Other groups.  This is the time to speak up and be allies. Don't get suckered into the fear mongering. Make a change Tuesday November 6, 2018. Learn from history.