Vacation

Last month my mother, brother and I drove to PEI and stayed for a week at a beach house (pink star). Our family used to vacation on the island when I was a teenager.  I got to live out my Anne of Green Gables dreams and discover the Emily of New Moon series.  My mom's family was originally from the island.  It's neat going to a place where a good part of the population looks like me. Same skin, same body shape.  I have had random locals come up to me and ask if I'm someone they know.  So, the island felt like a good place to go for a first vacation since the pandemic.  Also, we had wanted to spread some of my dad's ashes there (black square).

The beach house was gorgeous.  The beach is lovely. Two downsides were the deeply rutted unpaved road to the house that scraped the bottom of my mom's car. The steep wobbly stairs down to the beach were a scary chore.  It is a three bedroom two bath place with basic wi-fi and not much TV but that is okay.  We had planned to unplug and relax.

What we did not plan is that none of us are talking to each other now.  The vacation highlighted that our family still has deep painful problems that we chose to ignore after dad died because we needed something stable. So we pretended to be stable for two years.  

From my perspective, the vacation was painful because I was very much a third wheel. My mom and brother have similar personalities. I didn't have dad to balance me out.  My mom also does not know how to talk to people who aren't her students. We fought constantly all week because we kept talking past each other - she didn't listen to me and I got so frustrated, I didn't listen to her.  Additionally, she refused to let me drive her car. I felt all week that she didn't like me and I could do nothing right in her eyes.  I spent a lot of time on the beach just to get away from her.

Spreading my dad's ashes was very nice and sad. I had a dream with him that night for the first time in years.  My brother was very kind and supportive during the week and even offered to take me on a drive to let me get out. Both of us cried a lot that week.

Not to end on a down note. We spent almost every day on the beach and since I have the PEI skin, I didn't get burned and now have a pretty awesome tan. I slept a lot and ate a ton of good food.  For most of my life, I haven't had well prepared mussels so it turns out that I don't hate them if they are done right!  Also, Molson's beer is yummy.  I got back into reading after decades of not really being able to focus and commit to a book. I got through two of N.K Jemisin's "Broken Earth" trilogy.  There were times when all three of us could just relax and hang.  My mom read a bunch of crossword clues out loud and we tried to help after a couple Molsons - which was hilarious.  Also mom and I loved watching Canadians reporting on U.S. news.  We really are the downstairs meth lab to them.  The drive home was a lot of fun because I was allowed to play the road trip mix I had put together.