128 Commute Commandments

Since I have been commuting 60 miles daily primarily on route 128, I feel like I'm pretty much an expert on this route. Also having lived 31 years in the area helps.

1. The lane categories are as follows: slow, middle and fast. Slow is for anyone who cannot break 60 mph either due to fear or a crummy car. Also the slow lane is reserved for anyone over 65, anyone who can't see over the dashboard, and out of state drivers. The middle lane is for people for don't like driving as fast as 80mph. The fast lane is for anyone who can drive 70 - 85 mph.

2. If you are driving so slow, you're causing people to pass you on the right, you are in the wrong lane. Move right.

3. Do not brake on a highway on-ramp, speed up so you can merge with traffic.

4. Merging is like shuffling cards, it should go every other car. Sometimes people don't play the game which is why cars have rearview and side mirrors.

5. If you like to brake for every other air particle while there's a mile of space between you and the car ahead of you, why are you on the highway? Also, why are you in the fast lane? Move right and/or go to driving school.

6. Highway exits go in numerical order* so there should be no reason for you to slam on your brakes and cut across 3 - 4 lanes of traffic to make your exit. If you are driving, please pay attention! Ditto for exit only lanes. If you had missed the 3 signs for the past couple miles saying you are in an exit only lane, don't endanger your life and everyone elses.

7. Ambulances and cop cars have right of way with sirens on so let them through. Letting them through means clear the lane like the parting of the Red Sea. It's someone's life at stake people!

8. The white dashes or lines on the road indicate lanes. Basically, you should try to stay between these lines while driving. If you are on your cell straddling a lane, that means you are incapable of driving while on your cell phone and/ driving one handed so quit it.

9. Tractor trailers slow the hell down and get off my bumper. Also using your eyes/ side view mirrors would be helpful while barreling down the highway.

10. If your car is the color of pavement and it is night/dusk, turn on your headlights. If it is pouring rain, no matter what color car you own, turn on your headlights.


*Usually, MA has a funky system so I can understand some confusion.