Okay
1. What questions should I be asking myself?
I should be asking myself about my plans, goals, current situation, and what do I feel is missing.
2. Is this what I want to be doing?
I enjoy my temp assignment and smile a lot during the day. But quite frankly the industry and the work atmosphere is not my cup of tea. I enjoy the paycheck but dislike the rampant homophobia and learning is for nerds vibe.
3. Why worry?
I can and should worry about my job situation - contract with no benefits. I should worry about my health - off the weight watchers wagon since my knee injury. I also should worry about paying off my credit card debt. But you know what? Millions of people have those same three worries! I am comfortable financially, have great friends, and love where I live.
4. Why do I like ice cream more than I like working out?
Because it's yummy and comes in many delicious flavors. More seriously, there were years where I loved working out. I loved getting stronger and being able to do one more rep or circuit. It seems like I am more disconnected to my body and what it can accomplish lately. Depression? Genes? Or my own personal greatest excuse contest?
5. How do I want the world to be different because I lived in it?
I really want to help raise awareness about brain injuries and its lifelong impact. Also, I'd like to help coach people to become their own best medical advocate. I really love teaching so I should look into tutoring or literacy programs.
6. How do I want to be different because I lived in this world?
I want to be grateful, wiser, amazed, full of hope, and be in loved/loved.
7. Are skinny people better people?
For many years, I looked at skinny people like they were aliens. I read articles about skinny women moaning about gaining 5lbs in amazement. Of course telling myself skinny people were a completely different breed of humans, allowed me to tell myself that I am one of the fat breed. I'm coming around on these assumptions but I do enjoy seeing a stick thin girl wolf down a slice of pizza like she hadn't eaten in years.
8. What is my body telling me?
My body likes it when I eat healthy, baby my skin, and drink a lot of water. Unfortunately, I haven't been 100% on all 3 lately. Also, my body likes waking up with the alarm rather than hitting snooze dozens of times.
9. How much junk could a chic chick chuck if a chic chick could chuck junk?
I definitely do have a lot of useless junk and when the weather gets better, my spring-cleaning will become a spring purging.
10. What's so funny?
I am slowly turning into my mother as I get older. Maybe we'll overlap someday and become twins? I give my cat guilt trips about cleaning his plate like he can understand the money I spend on his food.
11. Where am I wrong?
I am wrong to think I can continue with my current spending habits. I might be wrong about current financial comfort versus digging myself into a rut in yet another temp job. How many temp jobs can be listed on a resume until it looks like I'm a flake regardless of the crummy economy?
12. What potential memories am I bartering, and is the profit worth the price?
I'm stuck in a rut socially. Not really meeting new people or trying to date. I'm not part of anything. I just go to work and come home. So out of sheer laziness and expert excuse-making, I am basically guaranteeing that I will die alone. God these questions are tricky... Oprah got me!
13. Am I the only one struggling not to blow off worship for my sofa/wine?
The last time I went to temple was Yom Kippur 2008. Shabbat service is even longer ago.
14. What do I love to practice?
I love to sing.
15. Where could I work less and achieve more?
I'm stumped on this one. I live a fairly efficient lazy life.
16. How can I keep myself absolutely safe?
Ask this question just to remind yourself of the answer: You can't. Life is inherently uncertain. The way to cope with that reality is not to control and avoid your way into a rigid little demi-life, but to develop courage. Doing what you long to do, despite fear, will accomplish this....yeah that controlled demi-life? See #12
17. Where should I break the rules?
Darn it, maybe I should just stop waiting for my Prince Charming to magically find me? Ditto for my dream job. Maybe I should just go out and get them?
18. So say I lived in that fabulous house in Tuscany, with untold wealth, a gorgeous, adoring mate, and a full staff of servants...then what?
I have had a lot of time to dream up this answer. First, I'd buy my mom a house, then my brother. And I would give a nice chunk of change to the charities of my choice. Then, I would try to learn as many languages as possible, get my PhD, travel, and write (possibly self-publish).
19. Are my thoughts hurting or healing?
It depends on a daily basis. Some days, a litany of what I have gone through in my life washes over me making me feel like a victim of a cosmic practical joke. Other days, I reach for a glass with my left hand and I remember that hand was paralyzed once. Or I have a nice visit with my dad where I did not once remember what he did to me. I like to say that bad memories are like splashes of red on your mental canvas. Just because it's there and so bright, doesn't erase the other colors of happy memories and love.
20. Really truly: Is this what I want to be doing?
No
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