Sunday, June 30, 2013

The Good and The Bad

The Bad:
I was taken to the hospital by ambulance Thursday afternoon.  It was a regular day at work when all of a sudden, I had this huge throb of pain under my right scapula (shoulder-blade).  It took my breath away but it went away so I didn't think anything of it. As the day progressed, so did the throbbing and pain to the point where I felt like I could not get a good breath.  So, I called 911 and waited in the lobby. 5 hours later in the ER, after a chest x-ray, EKG, and blood draw, I was told whatever I was dealing with is muscular skeletal.  Phew!  I immediately had feared pulmonary embolism or chest infection.  I went to my PCP and it turns out I strained my trapezius muscle and it had been spasming so that was why I was in so much pain.  I need trigger point injections and PT.  No idea how the strain happened but I'm glad it's treatable! So that's the bad that wound up good.

The Good:
My job has gotten pretty difficult in the past couple of months.  It's a combination of workload and the learning curve (or cliff as I call it).  My supervisor has a really low frustration threshold and when he snaps, he stops listening.  In the past couple of months, I've had to deal with him snapping which usually sends me to the bathroom stall sobbing.  I can deal with jerks who have to take their shit out on people but when my ability to think or do my job is called into question, I have trouble coping.  Especially if it's in front of co-workers or about something I did not do.  I went to a conflict management seminar because of this situation and learned a lot of good tools.  So, I wanted to close the chapter on the weepy anxious mess and move forward.  But apparently, I wasn't as stealthy about my crying and being upset.  My supervisor's boss had a talk with me Friday.  She is really awesome, a good listener, and very supportive.  It turns out some of my co-workers have expressed concern about me.  That is kinda sweet and kinda embarrassing.  No more suffering in silence.  Supervisor's boss listened to me and confirmed that a couple of things I have encountered were unprofessional and upsetting.  She also pointed out that my boss is new to supervising others and last year there were concerns about him.  I'm happy to be heard, validated, and know people I work with care.  I hope my boss can take this feedback as a learning opportunity!

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