Stare Into the Light

H

This past week has been awesome, exhausting, and horrible. In the end, I have been left humbled with gratitude.

Mood alert - I found a therapist who has a neurology background and has the nicest warm laugh. We have our first appointment September 15, my brother's birthday and the day after Rosh Hoshanah. This is week three without any Lamotrigine and it is pretty good. I think I have found my core inner resiliency that let's me feel sad and stress but somehow keeps me together. Work has been pretty busy and crazy. In fact, I wound up handling the craziest day better than Super Boss! I teased him about calling a co-worker incompetent, he hung his head, and admitted it was said in anger. I cherish these moments as examples of Super Boss being human. I also had a good run of asking good questions and making mistakes that turned into good learning opportunities. He also pointed out a "tell" I have. It's so funny, we spend so much time together we can read each other like a book.  We would be awesome as con artists. He was asking me if I needed help and it was 5:30 on a Friday and I hadn't sat at my desk for 30 minutes so I ran my hands through the hair at the top of my head and said "I'm fine." Which was a tell for him.

I used a comp day to take Wednesday off. It was muggy in the upper 80's so my mom, brother, and I went to Nantasket Beach. We were in Trader Joes grabbing lunch items when I got a phone call from my land lady's son who told me that:

1. The cat urine stink has permeated the house

2. I need to get rid of the cats by Sept. 1

3. Or I need to move

On my day off in the middle of the grocery store. I admit that the high humidity and heat helps no odors and the main scoop free litter box needed a replacement. I called the guy back asking if I hired cleaners could I stay. He started ranting about the stink and my brother had just visited last weekend saying how non-smelly the place was. So I asked bro to explain that to land lady's son. It was awkward and horrible. My brother announced that he had to hang up on him after asking, "Are you serious?" multiple times. My beach day was fun and also spoiled by the whirling panic from this situation. But I was able to talk out options with my mom and brother which calmed me down. It was my brother's first time at Nantasket and he loved it. It is seriously my favorite beach - friendly people, variety of ages and body types, plus really cool waves. I got home and there was a letter from land lady's son which said I had until October 1 to vacate if I didn't get rid of my cats.

I have been casually looking for new places to live so this just set a deadline. Plus, my family, friends and co-workers all really rallied to help me. That first night I cried just from gratitude that I have surrounded myself with such generous kind people. I stared at my ceiling and just sent thanks to the universe. So, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday night I barely slept because I was trolling craigslist for apartments, imagining giving up one of my cats, and having racing brain.

Friday a high school friend tried to hook me up with a friend who is also looking for a place. This potential roomie sounded awesome. We totally hit it off but I was bringing 2 cats to her 1 which ultimately fizzled the potential team up. I really fell in love with the idea of a roommate and the money I'd save. Boo.

Today, I had an apartment viewing for a place that is a two bedroom. It's two because the one bedroom can only fit a full size bed. The second bedroom is for your dresser. Ugh! Then land lady's son showed up at my apartment telling me he is willing to work with me and not throw me out Oct. 1. So, I need to do a big cleaning for Sept. 1 inspection and then my rent will increase $125 Oct. 1. I was so relieved, I started crying. Land lady's son's wife talked him down from his tantrum apparently. Yeah, I am still looking for a place. Someplace convenient to the train under an hour to Boston and cat friendly. I think I will be able to sleep tonight.