I have had four bosses in two years, have seen four analysts come and go from my team. I have felt so alone, scared, and tired for months. The analyst team now is all staffed up with great folk!
Nu Boss went to my college and even knows some of my old marching band friends! He lived in an off-campus apartment complex that I spent half my college years in. I could not stop smiling and laughing when we figured this out. So, the nerves and cautiousness of having a new supervisor totally got halved in that moment. The next day I found out, he grew up half Catholic and half Jewish. We joked about his husband looking for the afikomen for their seder last year. By now, nerves? What nerves? He is really smart, candid, and encouraging. I am so damn happy!
Cautious Analyst is now Sparkle Analyst because she is a total sweetheart who I love making laugh. She has also seen me cry twice without any judgement. The second time I cried was because I had a report I knew I needed to get out and had planned on staying late to get it done. Then I saw Cautious Analyst emailed me saying she had taken a stab at the report and could I please check her work and she poked her head in. I legit asked her, "Can I please give you a hug?" I opened the report, and she totally nailed it. Cue my tears as I quaveringly mentioned how alone and stressed I have been and I really appreciate the great work she has been doing.
My dad was hospitalized this weekend with congestive heart failure complications. Since I am not a nurse, that sounded very scary. Of course I was upset and a bit scared (the first time I cried in front of Sparkle Analyst) But I had an awesome talk with my mom Tuesday night who explained CHF isn't a death sentence and my dad was told he had this and he never told us.
I mentioned this situation to Eager Beaver Analyst Thursday when he was in my office going over some deliverables. He said very quietly, "My dad died." I paused looked at him and expressed my condolences. He pivoted to talking about work. A little later in the day, I got an email from him APOLOGIZING for talking about his dad's death, explaining that it just snuck up on him, and I shouldn't worry if he looks glum. I got up and talked to him, told him that I totally understand and he has nothing to apologize about. It's okay that he's struggling that mourning isn't a defined process. I also mentioned that we have a EAP benefit and I have used it. I have an office with a door if he needs a space to feel. This poor guy - I just wanted to give him a hug.
I made sure to let the staffing director and New Boss how happy I am with this team. Even Baby Analyst is smiling! I have to say, I never felt more proud than when I heard her training the new analysts. She has internalized so much that she discounts it as learned knowledge. I have been crying when I get home because all this stress, tension, and dealing is melting off my body in waves.