Things Fall Down

If you were on the outbound platform at South Station on Monday around 5:10 PM, you would have heard a woman screaming hoarsely like she was being murdered. As you rushed toward the sound, you saw an older woman prone on the lower stairs yelling and a younger woman above in a green coat clinging to the hand rail.

I was that younger woman in the green coat. Here is what happened. I was walking down to the platform ready to go home. I had had a really good day so I was thinking to myself, "La, la, la. going home..." I noticed the lady in front of me was going down the stairs with a black cane. She was moving pretty strongly and I admired that. Then all of a sudden I was really close to her and the world went sideways.

Yup, I fell down a couple stairs at South Station and I took out a lady with a cane. Bystanders were really nice. I had clung onto the railing so hard I had wound up lying facing up the stairs. The cane lady's screams were really freaky so I asked one of my first responders, "Oh God, is she okay?" The response was, "She's there." As I collected myself, I saw dozens of people were looking at me and the human wrecking ball devastation I had left. Very embarrassed, and in pain, I carefully made my way down the rest of the stairs. I was able to apologize to cane lady who said she was fine, just shaken. Since I have such a uniquely green coat, everyone on the platform knew who I was. A couple asked me if I was okay. I had shooting pain in my right ankle and stabbing pain if I moved it a certain way.

Now, it's two days afterward and my ankle is a bit tender but is usable. The whole RICE thing saved the night and helped me recover. I do have a ton of bruises and very sore back from where I landed on the stairs. I am so relieved the cane lady is fine! Plus, it is kinda funny when you think about it...

Shizz to Update

Cats
Both Stella and Rasputin have recovered from their respective illnesses. They are actually playing together now! By playing, I mean chasing each other around the apartment until Stella gets pissy. It is so cute - both of them greet me at the door when I come home from work. At first it was just two cat heads peering down the stairs at me. But now Stella feels more confident, she usually is the first one down the stairs. It is amazing how affectionate she is! Ras is affectionate in a cuddly way. Stella is all about purring and rubbing on your legs. Yup, things are going great in the 2 cat household!

Work
Work has become insanely busy since the department manager reassigned clients for all of us this month. So, the past couple weeks have been trying to figure out what's new and what has stayed the same. Luckily, I didn't get too many difficult clients (there is the one with set in stone deadlines and tons of questions). I actually like how busy I am! I really feel like have become one of the department - to the point where I log in from home to get work done and the time at home just feels like a pause between time at work. Every morning I feel, "Wasn't I just here? Did I pass out or did I go home?" Also, my tendency to talk to myself has been dialed up to a million. I have lists for the lists I have.

On the flip side of the good ramping up of my workload is that I was assigned to assist someone who A) doesn't want to train anyone and B) doesn't know how to train anyone. He sends me pop quiz emails which are basically an email string with the question, "Do you know how I solved this problem?" When he first started doing this, I didn't realize he was a total asshole. So I wracked my brain, read, and re-read the emails thinking, "I should know this." Then I would write back what I thought was the solution. He'd reply, "No" or "Wrong" He also wrote, "you [me] get simple things wrong." Ummm... TRAIN ME ASSHOLE!! It has been an absolute nightmare. I dread seeing emails from him in my inbox. After days of trying to complete an audit assignment for him where I wasted a lot of time running the right reports for the wrong client or running too granular reports for the right client, I basically had steam coming out of my ears. Then to top it off, he sent me yet another pop quiz email (twice because I didn't answer fast enough). Oh yeah, I had a meeting with my manager to explain the situation. The manager was awesome and totally agreed with me that Asshole has communication problems and needs to train me. My manager's face got almost purple with anger/disgust when I told him about the getting simple things wrong comment. So the plan is to give it one more week to see if it works out. If it doesn't, Mr. Asshole won't be "training" me - just sending me lists of reports to run. Less contact with him is a win for me.

Life
My knee is feeling a ton better now after some touch and go weeks with random shooting pain and horrible grinding noises. Since I can't afford to go to physical therapy, my budget version is investing in good sneakers with excellent arch supports and padding. So far, so good. Since I owed taxes this year, I am pretty broke. An aside/complaint: how could I have been unemployed for 7 months with only temp jobs for income and owe money? Since Passover is next week, and my four year conversion anniversary is Friday, I'm planning on checking out this temple. Also, I am up for two full-time perm jobs at separate companies downtown. Mr. Asshole lit a fire under my job search. Other than that, life has been ho hum.

Guess What? I Solved the Budget Crisis

TAH DAH

Cat Leper Colony

I have two unhappy cats on my hands. They are getting along fine. No more hissing and no cuddling or playing - yet. But both are sick.

It started with Stella. I noticed her normal dry eye boogers were turning into long trails of mucus and during the day her eyes were tearing. When it got so bad that I had to help her open her eyes in the morning, I made a vet appointment. This was our first trip to the vet together. She was fine in the car and waiting room but was a ball of hissing and claws being checked out. It turns out she has an upper respiratory infection (which I am used to. Ras gets one annually). Since her eyes were mainly effected, I was given medicated ointment. She was cool with having me wipe her eyes with a cotton ball and after some bribing with treats, the ointment in the eye went fine. It was all an uneventful routine for a week until this past Sunday. Suddenly, once the ointment came out, she became a hissy clawball with me. Treats didn't help. She has been steadily improving but I don't want her to relapse. I've had to skip two treatments due to her freakouts. Ugh!

As Stella got better and better, Ras started becoming more listless and vomited a lot. His breathing this past weekend became so ragged and noisy, I was worried that he'd choke or suffocate. Plus, he was only throwing up mucus so it looked like he had a wicked head cold. He wasn't really eating or meowing much. I took him to the vet and he had to have chest x-rays. I knew something must have been seriously wrong since he was quiet the entire ride to the vet. Usually, he meows the whole way. I have to admit, I love taking him to the vet because he's such a gorgeous sociable boy everyone from the receptionist to the doctors fall in love with him. I feel so proud like I had anything to do with it... Poor Ras has bronchitis and some weird objects stuck in his digestive tract. Since he was running a slight fever, the vet was concerned about those objects. That was a little embarrassing - trying to identify objects in my cat's bowel from x-rays. He gets Clavamox to take orally twice a day for two weeks. He's a good boy for medicine so that shouldn't be a huge deal. I just hope he poops those things out soon!

Soap Corner

I have been a General Hospital fan since I was ten. My mom and I used to watch it together. That was around the Duke and Anna era. My mom and her mom used to watch the show together as well. So, it’s kind of a family legacy. I used to schedule my college classes around GH. The girls on my floor and I would watch and weep as Stone died by inches or when Liz got raped. My mom and I would have long phone calls discussing Carly’s latest lunacy. I was a fairly regular watcher up until 1999/2000 because I had my first full-time job and DVRs didn’t exist then. Sure on sick days or holidays I caught an episode or two. I fell back into regular watching around 2007-ish when A) I got my first DVR and B) I went through my first lay-off and C) The text message killer was about to be caught on the show.



Not a lot has changed. Jason and Sonny are still in a mob that deals.... coffee? Yeah, that was always vague. I miss a bunch of old characters that were either written or killed off like Laura, Bobbie, Monica, Scotty, Alan, Lucy, Kevin, and Tony. Lucky is back to original recipe (Jonathan Jackson) after a bunch of awful recasts. Carly is also still around but I realized that I only liked the character as played by Sarah Brown. Nowadays, I wind up fast-forwarding her scenes because she's a one-note and unsympathetic. I adore Alexis and her family plus Kristina's abuse storyline was really well told and riveting TV. I basically grew up with Robin so she can do no wrong. The whole Fatal Attraction arc was pretty good but once Lisa got back from Shadybrook, she became lame. Franco sucks - complete fast-forward material. Sadly the same is true for Brenda's drama. I was so excited about her return! I remember the danger and romance of her original stint on GH. But the writing is so bad and I'm sorry Vanessa Marcil still has the same acting quirks (what the hell is up with her sleeves?) I gotta say, this Jake storyline has been pretty good so far (even though it's a complete rip off of BJ's heart). The whodunnit part kept me guessing and when we found out, I gasped out loud. It is going to be sooo good (and horribly painful)!

It's also fun finding General Hospital fans out there. We can discuss characters like they are long-lost friends. One of my co-worker's wives watches GH so he is in the know. We discussed Jake's death and I blew his mind that the guy who plays Nicholas got fired. Speaking of, Liz aka Rebecca Herbst, was fired but enough of her fans went ape-shit so she was hired back. Can we do that with Laura please?

Living in the Animal Kingdom

Stella has been home for five days and I think things are going well. It has been fun getting to know her and see her getting used to her new living quarters. The first day (Saturday) was all in her safe room (the bathroom). I'm glad that she liked the hidey hole bed I made for her in the under sink cabinet. Also, the blanket I used for bedding I slept with for a couple days so she gets used to my scent and associates it with comfy sleepiness. Stella and Ras did catch a glimpse of each other that day. Stella hissed and growled and Ras responded. She also let me pick her up and cuddle her Day 1. She was purring her heart out too...

Day 2 was free roam day. Rasputin didn't realize Stella was still around so when he realized that "She is still here!!!" he tore from one end of the apartment to under my bed. Stella spent the morning mainly in the kitchen basically finding every spot Rasputin likes. More hiss growling if Ras tried to approach. She's a total bully cat and Ras is this cowed wimp even though he's three times her size. At one point Stella decided to chill out on a shelf behind all my wine glasses and some crystal. Apparently, I have the skills to diffuse a bomb because I was able to move all the glasses away from a skittish cat without breaking anything. Day 2 was when I started cataloging Stella's quirks. Catnip does nothing for her meanwhile it gets Ras stoned. Both of them hate the chicken wet food I bought for them. Also, both of them are fascinated by running water. Stella only likes petting and scritches around the face - don't venture near the body. Ras is more hands-on.

After consulting fellow multi-cat owners, I decided to keep Stella in the safe room for the workday Day 3. Rasputin seemed fine with that. Day 3 is when Stella took over the living room and snuggled down in Ras' sleep spot.
I guess Stella is able to find all of Rasputin's spots because they reek of him and maybe she wants to get her scent there too? But I have to say if you forget that they're cats, she's a little bitchy!

Day 4 (Tuesday) started with me not being able to find Stella all morning. I knew the apartment was shut up tight so she had to be somewhere. Finally giving up, I started getting ready for work then lo and behold there is Stella snuggled up in the furthest corner of my bedroom closet! Aww... all three of us slept in my bedroom... There was no way I would be able to get Stella out and shut up in the safe room without profuse injury to me and trauma to her so I decided to let her stay put (propping open the closet door with a hamper). When I got home, it was so nice out I was able to open a lot of windows. Stella and Ras got to have their window time in their own windows on opposite sides of my bed. Rasputin is definitely more open to hang out and inspect Stella. Stella is more stand-offish and hisses/growls when he approaches. It's so funny when I'm just sitting in the living room I see Stella walk by the doorway and about 10 paces behind her follows Ras. He's like a Queen Consort! I tried to have some bonding playtime with Stella last night but she wasn't into it. Sadly, Ras saw the jingle stick toy and tried to play but Stella hissed him away. I was like, "Um, okay diva so you don't want anyone else to play and yet you don't want to play?" I did get those two to get along with treats. They were within one foot of each other without drama!

This morning (Day 5) Stella was in her hidey closet bed but came out when I found her. She seemed in a lot cheerier spirits. She even played with a toy I bought her!

T Archetypes

With apologies to the awesome passengers who let me sit when my knee was horribly injured, but here are some observations I have as a T commuter:

Four Types of T Riders

Seasoned Commuter

You know which cars are better depending on what time you catch the T so you have your designated waiting areas. You wait while other passengers exit the train. You move all the way down the car when you board. If you get a seat, you offer it to any elderly person you see. When you are seated, you cross your ankles and pull yourself in to allow room around yourself. If you are standing, you hold onto the handle bars.

Out of Town Yokels

You block the turnstiles while you ask MBTA employees about how to get to your destination. You don’t bring enough money for fare or even a MBTA map. You can’t figure out how to feed your ticket into the turnstile and hold up waves of commuters. You don’t understand that train lines have multiple directions or branches despite maps mounted everywhere, therefore you will get on the wrong train several times. You don’t wait for people to exit, you scramble for the first seat available. You don’t offer your seat to anyone. If you do stand, you try to subway surf but after tumbling into bystanders, you find something or someone to hold onto

Mr(s) Too Important to Care

You have a Blackberry glued to your ear and MUST GET TO X ON TIME! You hit people with your suitcases or body parts with no apology. In fact, you get offended if someone utters, “Ow.” If seated, you take up at least two seats between sprawling your body out while on a conference call and putting your suitcase on a seat. Never budging from whereever you decide to plant yourself no matter how crowded the car gets. Shoving to be first off the train and up the escalator. You are so important!

The Spoiled Brats

Earbuds planted firmly in ears and huge hobo bags/backpacks crushing into crowds. You enjoy holding onto the rubber handles because it can make your commute a T Wild Ride as you careen 360 degrees with every motion of the subway. You also try to hold converations without removing earbuds.

Feel free to use these categories for your Passover Seder's 4 children discussion!

Cat Number Two

Yup, that's the update for my life currently. Other than the fact that my current job assignment is contracted until Oct. 31 and my supervisor would like to extend that date.

So, I am financially stable and working full-time. Plus, Ras got spoiled for adjusting to my new schedule thanks to the holidays, blizzards, and my various illnesses and injuries. Yeah, March is the first month where I will be working full-time in the office for four weeks! Therefore Rasputin has been a brat lately. It doesn't seem to matter how much attention and play I lavish on him when I get home. He just gets restless and acts out. Those shenanigans made me start thinking that he might benefit from having a companion. He hasn't been around other cats since his litter. I crunched some numbers and looked critically at the space my apartment provides. This weekend, I visited the Quincy Animal Shelter and fell in love with three cats. I have a first pick and second pick of course. It is so sad that since they're shelter cats, there is no way to guess age based upon size. All 3 looked like one year olds but 2 were seven or eight years old. I definitely want short hair and female since the articles say opposite sex is a better pairing.

I have set up a safe room to help both cats with introductions. At first, I thought using my bedroom would be a good idea since the door is glass but then I remembered that Ras loves sleeping with me. So yeah, that would be a bad way to introduce the new cat by taking away Ras' sleepy snuggle time! The plan is to fill out the paperwork tomorrow night and take the new cat home Saturday morning to use all weekend to get both cats settled. Also, I would like to call the new cat Stella.

As I was doing research about introducing cats and talking to shelter volunteers, I have scaled down my expectations about how Ras will react to Stella. If they tolerate each other, that would be fine. Playing and grooming each other, can be a dream until summer. Of course expect many pictures here. I am definitely not going to go crazy cat lady/hoarder. I think two is my limit!

20 questions that could change your life

Okay

1. What questions should I be asking myself?

I should be asking myself about my plans, goals, current situation, and what do I feel is missing.

2. Is this what I want to be doing?

I enjoy my temp assignment and smile a lot during the day. But quite frankly the industry and the work atmosphere is not my cup of tea. I enjoy the paycheck but dislike the rampant homophobia and learning is for nerds vibe.

3. Why worry?

I can and should worry about my job situation - contract with no benefits. I should worry about my health - off the weight watchers wagon since my knee injury. I also should worry about paying off my credit card debt. But you know what? Millions of people have those same three worries! I am comfortable financially, have great friends, and love where I live.

4. Why do I like ice cream more than I like working out?

Because it's yummy and comes in many delicious flavors. More seriously, there were years where I loved working out. I loved getting stronger and being able to do one more rep or circuit. It seems like I am more disconnected to my body and what it can accomplish lately. Depression? Genes? Or my own personal greatest excuse contest?


5. How do I want the world to be different because I lived in it?

I really want to help raise awareness about brain injuries and its lifelong impact. Also, I'd like to help coach people to become their own best medical advocate. I really love teaching so I should look into tutoring or literacy programs.

6. How do I want to be different because I lived in this world?

I want to be grateful, wiser, amazed, full of hope, and be in loved/loved.

7. Are skinny people better people?

For many years, I looked at skinny people like they were aliens. I read articles about skinny women moaning about gaining 5lbs in amazement. Of course telling myself skinny people were a completely different breed of humans, allowed me to tell myself that I am one of the fat breed. I'm coming around on these assumptions but I do enjoy seeing a stick thin girl wolf down a slice of pizza like she hadn't eaten in years.

8. What is my body telling me?

My body likes it when I eat healthy, baby my skin, and drink a lot of water. Unfortunately, I haven't been 100% on all 3 lately. Also, my body likes waking up with the alarm rather than hitting snooze dozens of times.

9. How much junk could a chic chick chuck if a chic chick could chuck junk?

I definitely do have a lot of useless junk and when the weather gets better, my spring-cleaning will become a spring purging.

10. What's so funny?

I am slowly turning into my mother as I get older. Maybe we'll overlap someday and become twins? I give my cat guilt trips about cleaning his plate like he can understand the money I spend on his food.

11. Where am I wrong?

I am wrong to think I can continue with my current spending habits. I might be wrong about current financial comfort versus digging myself into a rut in yet another temp job. How many temp jobs can be listed on a resume until it looks like I'm a flake regardless of the crummy economy?

12. What potential memories am I bartering, and is the profit worth the price?

I'm stuck in a rut socially. Not really meeting new people or trying to date. I'm not part of anything. I just go to work and come home. So out of sheer laziness and expert excuse-making, I am basically guaranteeing that I will die alone. God these questions are tricky... Oprah got me!

13. Am I the only one struggling not to blow off worship for my sofa/wine?
The last time I went to temple was Yom Kippur 2008. Shabbat service is even longer ago.

14. What do I love to practice?

I love to sing.

15. Where could I work less and achieve more?

I'm stumped on this one. I live a fairly efficient lazy life.

16. How can I keep myself absolutely safe?

Ask this question just to remind yourself of the answer: You can't. Life is inherently uncertain. The way to cope with that reality is not to control and avoid your way into a rigid little demi-life, but to develop courage. Doing what you long to do, despite fear, will accomplish this....yeah that controlled demi-life? See #12

17. Where should I break the rules?

Darn it, maybe I should just stop waiting for my Prince Charming to magically find me? Ditto for my dream job. Maybe I should just go out and get them?

18. So say I lived in that fabulous house in Tuscany, with untold wealth, a gorgeous, adoring mate, and a full staff of servants...then what?

I have had a lot of time to dream up this answer. First, I'd buy my mom a house, then my brother. And I would give a nice chunk of change to the charities of my choice. Then, I would try to learn as many languages as possible, get my PhD, travel, and write (possibly self-publish).

19. Are my thoughts hurting or healing?

It depends on a daily basis. Some days, a litany of what I have gone through in my life washes over me making me feel like a victim of a cosmic practical joke. Other days, I reach for a glass with my left hand and I remember that hand was paralyzed once. Or I have a nice visit with my dad where I did not once remember what he did to me. I like to say that bad memories are like splashes of red on your mental canvas. Just because it's there and so bright, doesn't erase the other colors of happy memories and love.

20. Really truly: Is this what I want to be doing?

No

Oscars 2011, My Reaction

Okay, I admit the recent "Wayne's World" skit on SNL kinda put this movie on my radar. The movie itself looks gorgeous and has excellent performances but it is depress-o-rama. Like The Hours level of depressing.

I have never seen the John Wayne version. This movie was definitely good. I couldn't understand half what Jeff Bridges said because of the accent and he was drunk half the movie. The young actress Haley whats her face is really excellent. But the breakout for the movie was Matt Damon. I had no idea it was him until much later.

It's tough to like a movie without a protagonist that follows a bunch of rich pricks. I did find the movie really interesting and Andre Garfield was excellent and the only sympathetic character.

I can't be unbiased about this movie at all because I grew up with a family member who stuttered and I had a speech impediment after my stroke that took me years of work to get over. Also, I am in love with Colin Firth and I am a history major. Love, love, love this movie. I laughed, I cried, and I cheered.

Here's a little secret about this movie - it's not really about fighting. The fighting is basically the background/setting. That really surprised me. The accents weren't that bad. Christian Bale's was the best. He did do an amazing job. I have a soft spot for Melissa Leo because of Homicide, Life on the Streets. I initially felt back that Mark Wahlberg got no awards love for this passion project but really his performance was just there holding up the picture so everyone else could ACT.

Ehh, nothing too amazing about this movie unless you're still in the OMG lesbians have children phase of your life. Mark Ruffalo is still sexy as hell. Julianne Moore's character bugged the crap out of me but I think that was the point.

This is the first movie where I realized that James Franco is a good actor. He totally carried it and kept me wrapped up in the ordeal. Also the movie is a good fakeout horror. You know eventually, he'll hack off his arm so every time he handles a knife or anything sharp, you hide behind your hands and think, "This is it! Hack central." Many fakeouts. I love Danny Boyle's directing style. The actual hacking is very gruesome and is not for the faint of heart.

I love how crazy and off-kilter this movie is. Just when you think you have seen the most messed up thing possible, the next scene breaks the record of fucked uppedness. Natalie did do a great job but I kinda wish it wasn't in a campy horror fairytale. Save those chops for serious roles kiddo!

The Other Shoe Dropped

Remember how happy and I love life-y I was last Friday? That old superstitious feeling of when life is really good, something crappy is waiting in the wings didn't stop me. The other shoe dropped: I fell really badly on ice Sunday and have wrecked my knee. I've been out of the office (working remotely) for two days. I've also had an X-ray and will have a cat-scan/MRI tomorrow. Yeah, this shit is FOR REAL!

By the way, I suggest never to google images for swollen knees. It's just too gross. My driveway is on a slight incline so when there is any melting, the run-off collects at the bottom and freezes. I was walking to my car Sunday ready to go grocery shopping when the world went sideways and I fell on my ass (my knee did something special too). After the yelped swearing I started nervously giggling. I was just sore and I tried to get up. The ice was coated with water from all the melting so I couldn't get any traction. Thank goodness a nice neighbor came by to help me up. It was only when I sat down in my car that I felt a twinge of something in my left knee. But I was already there with a soaking wet ass so why not go grocery shopping?

As I was pushing my cart in the canned food aisle, I felt it. Yeah, my left knee is not my friend. Every step came with pain and my knee felt incredibly unstable like it would suddenly ostrich on me.


I got home and shuffled over the sheets of ice in my street and driveway opening with many, "Oh shit, oh shit..." Somehow got me and my groceries up 3 flights of stairs then collapsed in pain on my couch. The rest of the day was RICE (Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation). I decided the let my knee breathe at night when I slept which was a horrible decision.

I woke up Monday morning in incredible pain and had to call in to work to explain my situation. I worked in my bed for as long as possible until I realized that I needed to see a doctor and I could not drive myself to the doctor because getting down 3 flights of stairs and getting across sheets of ice to my car without breaking my neck would be improbable. This is why I need a husband/boyfriend. Or at least a manservant. I'd call him Toby. But alas, I have no Toby to rescue me. I have a mommy.

The doctor's appointment was a lot more anxiety inducing than I had expected. I thought they'd poke it, give me good drugs, and re-wrap my ace bandages. Nope! Just a lot of concerned poking and range of motion tests then an order for an X-ray and a follow-up with an orthopedist. I forgot a key piece of this injury. It is on my left side. The side that has screwed up feeling. The side I have cut, burned, and pinched by accident because my brain didn't get the pain scream from my nerves. Man, those are fun gross out stories. So, the fact that I was feeling this much pain on a dulled side sent alarm bells off at my doc's office. So, naturally, I did what I did when I feel overwhelmed with anxiety. I cried. Oh I made sure I was alone and it was just stoic tears. But my complexion doesn't allow me to mask tears (damn it). It was just a litany of can I afford these scans, what will happen if I lose my temp job, and being in an exam room getting unexpected news. The RN was really nice when she came back to the room. Not in a condescending way like talking an emotional loon off a ledge. She offered to write a letter to my boss explaining my medical situation which alleviated at least one concern. And she got pricing on all the scans I would be getting. Awesome, huh?

The X-ray was uneventful other than being twisted into a human pretzel. Good news though. Nothing is broken! Now, they think it's ligament/soft tissue damage. The knee is feeling a bit better today. I slept with it ace bandaged so compression at night seems to be key. It is still swollen to hell. The only way I can find my kneecap is pressing around to feel for bone.

Happiness Often Sneaks in Through a Door You Didn't Know You Left Open

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.
I just realized that life has been really good lately and I have been pretty happy. There were a couple bumps getting here but I found out listening to my heart and using my brain really helped. Work was really challenging the past couple of weeks dealing with month-end and quarter-end financials. There were a couple days where I wasted hours running the wrong report. Thank goodness for the great guy who is training me! He saw me stewing in frustration at my desk and we had a good talk in a conference room that helped me a lot.

I gotta say, the people I work with are really wonderful. They don't treat me any differently since I'm a temp. It took me a bit to get the feel for the group and somehow I've clicked in easily. It definitely helped that I brought in thinkgeek catalogs - which they thought was beyond awesome. In fact, I've felt so comfy I've been able to talk about my stroke with no huge drama with my manager and co-workers. That felt a bit healing. For so long, I've felt like it's a shameful secret I needed to conceal.

I'm still not going perm but my manager just told me he'd like to extend my contract. The pay is really decent and thanks to that, a lot of worry/stress has been taken off my shoulders. Also, the company even allows temps to telecommute for blizzards! Who knew how many blizzards we'd get this winter? It is so great not worrying about skidding into snowbanks on the way to the T or killing myself shoveling out my car in the dawn hours.

Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad.

Health-wise, things have been really good. I had days where I have fallen off the wagon and my scale says I have plateaued. But that's probably because I suck at getting to the gym. Once I mix that in, I'm sure weight will melt off. Sure the scale says nothing has changed but my tape measure and clothes tell a different story. I have a couple pairs of pants that need belts ASAP. Even people who haven't seen me for a bit mentioned that I look leaner.

Also, this isn't a Buzz campaign but I really need to gush about this product. Long-time readers know that my hair has been thinning and looking pretty crappy for a couple years. I started using L'Oreal's Everstrong shampoo and conditioner a couple months ago and the change has been great! My hair looks healthy and feels a lot thicker. Plus, the smell is awesome - rosemary and juniper. It could be the combo of products and my diet. If you have thin hair, I highly recommend this stuff:




Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy
Final happy thoughts. These blizzards have helped me get to know my neighbors. My cat is totally my boyfriend now that he snuggles under the covers with me at night. My family is jam packed with great people.

February in Boston from Lewis Black

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Highest and Lowest Median Incomes By Geography

I was reading this article on Boston.com today and started wondering if you plotted the high incomes vs. low incomes on a map, would you see a pattern? So that is what I did on my lunch-break.



There is definitely a pattern! If you're a Western suburb of Boston, you will have a high median income. But if you are west of 495, you are poor. I bet that is because Western MA had a huge manufacturing industry and now those jobs are in another country. Also, it could be linked to funding. For example, in Q3 2010 Hampden county was awarded $557,318,372 in Recovery Act Funds. For the same time period, Suffolk county received $1,800,660,696. Boston's unemployment rate in November 2010 was 7.4%. Springfield's is 9.2% for the same time period. Another way to look at this data is to search for high median incomes and low real estate costs. That would be the place to live. Let your rich neighbors support the town infrastructure!

5 Pounds

Weight Watchers online is going really well! I like the Points Plus program and all the online tracking tools. Also, since I'm a numbers gal, I like budgeting points for my meals. I am pretty horrible about fruits and veggies but kick ass on water on workdays.

Years ago, I did the regular Weight Watchers with weigh-ins and meetings. Man, I hated every second and I didn't lose much weight. The meetings were the worst. There was one lady who loved to list out all the foods she didn't eat and how she totally isolated herself from her family to stick to Weight Watchers. She basically got off on being a weight martyr. Another woman wasted meeting time asking points values for random foods. So, obviously the whole experience was a chore. Maybe with a better meeting leader, I would have enjoyed the meetings? I also didn't like the machinations for weigh-ins I resorted to. I tried to make sure I wore the same exact clothes each week and had no food in my stomach. Which is probably why I found meetings to be a pain in the ass since my stomach was grumbling and my blood sugar was really low.

This time around, a lot more is under my control plus I get to avoid the weight loss crazies. Also, the cool thing is that if you're good about tracking, you can basically eat whatever you want within your points limit (plus weekly surplus). It's not about denial and food martyrdom, it's about portion control and doing math. With this new attitude, I was able to lose 5lbs in two weeks! I just can't wait until the gym clears out thanks to all the resolution quitters - who won't be me.

The Red Line, The Decline

I have gone back to being a MBTA commuter for my job this past month. As a temp, there really is no other alternative for commuting to work. In the past month, the red line has had more problems than I have ever encountered in years past. At least twice a week, there is a dead train or technical issue. It has gotten so bad that I check the MBTA alert system before leaving home/work and by the time I get to a T station, something has gone haywire. When there is a problem, it means I am 30 – 40 minutes late because I have to wait for the 3rd train to be able to squeeze myself onto the trolley. I have tried adjusting my arrival time but it doesn’t help. If I show up 30 minutes earlier, there is still some problem. Also, how can you be a good employee when you can’t make it into work on-time? It isn’t a problem for me because I have a nice boss but I wonder if others have encountered employment issues?

Tempus Aeternum

I have been with my current job for a month and I still like it a lot. In my meeting with my manager this week, I asked if he had an idea when I could go perm. He told me that he can't bring me on full-time because it goes against his head count. But he also didn't say when my contract will end that's the up side. I asked a co-worker who just converted to full-time how long it took. For him, it took 2.5 years! But, then again, there was a huge economic crisis and the company had 2 rounds of lay-offs that he survived. Hopefully, if the economy is really recovering, it won't take as long for me because otherwise I'm in this temp state until someone from my department leaves. The job pays really well and being without benefits isn't too bad so far. Unpaid holidays and sick days aren't perfection but I can still afford my own health benefits (as long they don't jack up the premiums again). I'm staying put betting on an improving economy but also keeping an eye out for any full-time perm opportunities.





Speaking of, a cold has been making its way through my department. When I started last month, one woman had the cold and I caught it last week which I thought I had kicked out of my system. Lo and behold, I have my annual evil sinus infection and the guy who sits next to me is suffering too. He took a sick day Monday and I took a sick day Thursday. Friday, we joked about punishing the original sick girl. I came up with a pillow stuffed with used tissues. My manager is all about natural cures and vitamins so he has been espousing about the bonuses of echinacea. I am a little cynical about natural cures but he did mention an interesting option for my spring allergies: quercetin. I might check that out! Right now, I am rocking the neti pot, Zpack, a humidifier, and Advil allergy and sinus (which is AWESOME BTW)

Dick Clark Isn’t Trying to Bum You Out

I was surrounded by a lot of nasty comments at work this morning about Dick Clark’s appearance on Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve. For example, “Ugh, why does he even bother showing up? You can’t understand him…. He sounds like a stroke victim all slurry and awful…” I couldn’t keep quiet so in response to just a couple people I told them that I had a stroke ten years ago and that speech is the hardest thing to get back. I also pointed out that Dick Clark probably has this one thing to look forward to each year. A goal and something to keep him going.

Granted, I haven’t been able to watch his New Years special for quite some time because I wind up sobbing and who wants to start a new year that way? I had a stroke ten years ago at age 24. It took me over a year to get my speech back to somewhat normal and I still have stroke deficits. Dick Clark had a stroke five years ago at age 76 so imagine how much harder his recovery must be. I know I can’t change all hearts and minds about what’s appropriate for stroke survivors to participate in. I also understand that stroke deficits are very scary and upsetting to others but imagine what it is like having to deal with them on a daily basis! How frustrated and useless a stroke survivor can feel. So, I say, let’s give Dick a break and be happy that he has this one big thing to look forward to each year. Dick is an inspiration and is ALIVE people!

Guess What My New Year's Resolution Is?

I found these articles inspiring and handy. I got halfway through this article agreeing/nodding and then it got really creepy. I won't turn this blog into a list of pounds I lost or gained week to week but like the first article said, public accountability is a huge motivator. Plus, I was living in deep denial about how far gone I had gotten until that first picture from Xmas. The healthy gate is coming down Jan. 1, 2011!

Pending Holiday

I am not going to bother responding to yet another smear campaign against UMass. Oh yeah, I was pretty pissed off this weekend but I have accepted the fact that Tracy Jan is a hack so I’m feeling better (and am looking forward to another full-page rebuttal from my fellow illustrious alums).

Last Friday morning things got off to a rocky beginning. My car wouldn’t start. Nothing turned on and there was no noise of even attempting to turn on. Luckily, I am within walking distance to a T station and the weather wasn’t too bad. Of course my commute into work was riddled with worrying about car repairs and trying to figure out what had gone wrong. My guess was my battery just died. I had been given a warning back in 2008 that my battery was on shaky ground so if it was the battery, at least I was able to eek out another couple of years of life!

When I got to work, I just remembered that I hadn’t renewed my AAA membership yet – thank goodness for the internet! Since the day had warmed up considerably, I decided to try starting my car again when I got home. Nothing happened. It was already pitch dark and I had no plans that night, I decided to call AAA Saturday morning. Having that plan helped alleviate some worry and let me relax that night. Saturday morning arrived and AAA came really quickly after I called in. I was correct that it was my battery and I had a really nice service guy helping me out. The sun was out and it wasn’t too cold so I realized how lucky I was. What better way to have a dead battery than parked at home in good weather?

Saturday night I attended a fabulous holiday party hosted by Miss Sarah ate a lot of delicious rich food and drank a ton of wine. Needless to say, Sunday was hangover central which entailed one run to Dunkin Donuts and watching Walking Dead/Stargate SG-1 on my sofa. An aside, Walking Dead has an awesome storyline and kept me riveted but some of the dialogue/acting was painfully awful. Stargate totally sucks but I decided to try to catch up on the series since it’s on Netflix streaming. I like the mythology and male eye candy. I only have two episodes left in season 10 and then the TV movies. Should I bother with Stargate Atlantis or Universe? Sunday night I wanted to murder my downstairs neighbor with a machete. He loves to blast bass-heavy music in his room which is under my bedroom. I had to talk to him last month since he was blasting this music until 2:00 AM on a work night. He promised the dance parties would move to his girlfriend’s place. Sunday night there was another dance party downstairs as I was trying to get to sleep. Pictures on my wall were rattling and I couldn’t get to sleep for hours.

Yesterday morning, I locked my keys in my car at North Quincy station. I am blaming lack of sleep due to my neighbor and/or general holiday distraction. Since the forecast said that we were only supposed to get a dusting throughout the day, I decided that waiting to call AAA when I got back in the evening would be best. Guess what? We didn’t get a dusting and I only had a winter cap, no scarf or gloves. I submitted my assistance request late at work thinking that by the time I got to Quincy, the lockout help would be at the station. What actually happened is that while I was waiting at South Station, I got the call that the lockout guy was at my car. 20 minute response time! Holy crap! When I got to North Quincy station and called again, I was told the wait would be 2 – 3 hours. Crap again! I camped out inside the station playing games on my cell. Lo and behold, it only took AAA 35 minutes to rescue me! Again, I was really lucky this time around – I had shelter from the snowstorm and no pressing appointments.

I’m all done with my holiday shopping and have one gift left to wrap. Plus, I have Friday off from work. Wednesday night I am seeing this guy.